Learn the Art of Forgiveness

Learn the Art of Forgiveness Recall the iconic lines, of Amitabh Bachchan in the movie Deewar – looks intently at the idol of Lord Shiva and says, “Bahut khush hoge tum!” Bachchan, in the movie essayed the role of a smuggler and an atheist. However, eventually in the final stages of his life, he surrenders to the supreme power and seeking forgiveness. True enlightenment is the art of living in a compassionate manner. The human mind and heart reach a point of inflexion where an act of pardon remains an inescapable reality. A prosaic individual is unable to separate the chaff from the grain. It is full of antipathetic thoughts that he cannot transcend the barrier and is unable to exonerate anyone who has inflicted pain or hardship on him. The mind, full of gloom ridden and obstructive thoughts cannot perceive the divinity in others. It remains perpetually in a state of conflict. Such an emotionally distraught person would castigate even angelic and divine figures out of callowness. Several organised and structured religions lay prominence on the art of forgiveness. If an individual does not rise to the sublime spheres of compassion and forgiveness, then he gets trapped in the whirlpool of cause and effect. The unabated Karmic cycle continues without any resolution. The pivot is to fortify and protect the human mind to make it robust and compassionate. It attempts to extricate the self from the cause and effect of actions and even non-actions. Action and non-actions of humans indeed leave an indelible impression on the human mind. It would be a perspicacious to pose as to how non-actions are also a kind of Karmic activity and in what manner it impacts the human mind and consciousness. Non-action in a way represents not taking up the gauntlet. Sage Ashtavakra who authored the treatise Ashtavakra Gita posits a theory that an individual should break the bondage of guilt and anger to invoke the grace of remission. There is poignant Zen story which explains the exemplary tenets of compassion and forgiveness. Aeons ago a Zen Master summoned his tutees in a Temple of Knowledge and asked them if they harboured the antipathetic emotion of hatred in their minds. “Yes!” exclaimed the disciples. The Master directed his disciples to place a potato each in their bag and always travel with it as a reminder that despite the practice of meditation and breathing exercises their prana level was not high enough to exterminate and expatriate hatred and inculcate compassion. The number of potatoes was to increase depending on the quantum of anger and would be directly proportional to the antipathy in their minds. Some young monks ended up carrying a bagful of potatoes, which over a period became malodorous. In sheer exasperation, the harried disciples sought refuge in the grace of the master to dispense away with the bag. The Zen Master guffawed and chided his students to abandon the negative trait of abhorrence from their minds, lest the malodour of these traits become a burden all through their lives. To lead a warm, and healthy life individuals should embark upon the path of forgiveness and compassion. This suffuses the mind with immense strength and courage of conviction. It would be insightful for any individual to make positive affirmations, reinforcing love for every animate and inanimate object to build a divine society. Such affirmations would train the mind to remain unruffled and spread the quintessential gospel of forgiveness. Thereby humans would truly embrace fellow beings. If we construe the human mind to be the hardware, compassionate thoughts and forgiveness are part of non-negotiable software.

Be Calm and Composed

Be Calm and Composed Aeons ago in ancient China lived an old farmer who worked on his land for several years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, a group of neighbours came to commiserate with him. “Such misfortune,” the agitated group of villagers reacted. “Maybe,” nonchalantly replied the farmer. A few days later the horse returned, accompanied by three wild horses. Another group of villagers approached the house of agriculturist to sympathise. “Maybe,” replied the aged farmer. The following day, the farmer’s son tried to mount one of the untamed horses and was thrown off. The strapping youngster broke his leg. The overwrought neighbours once again queued up to offer their sympathies at this misadventure. “Maybe,” was the desultory answer yet again. A few days later some military personnel swooped on the village to draft young men. Looking at the incapacitated stripling he was disqualified from being recruited. The exuberant neighbours congratulated the old grazier on the unexpected turn of events. “Maybe,” was the laconic reply yet again. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, has succinctly elucidated the significance of the aphorism, ‘to accept people and situations as they are’ in his teachings. The 4 Ds of Abnormal Behaviour Abnormal behaviour can be construed as a behaviour which is disturbing (socially unacceptable), distressing, maladaptive (or self-defeating), and often the result of distorted thoughts (cognitions), as per Wikipedia. There are four strains in this abnormal behaviour. These are deviance, dysfunction, distress, and danger. Deviant behaviour is usually different, extreme, and unusual and could even include bizarre behavioural patterns. The second in the series is distressing behaviour. People who are related to such individuals feel unpleasant and unsettled in their presence. Dysfunctional behaviour discommodes the patient to such an extent that it acts as a deterrent in his day-to-day functioning and behaviour and interferes in his range of activities. There are five specific patterns of anxiety disorders which fall into this category. The first is termed as General Anxiety Disorder. This is a prolonged, vague, quite inexplicable fear having no objective basis, accompanied by hyper vigilance, and attached motor tension of the brain. Next is what in quotidian parlance is called panic disorder. These are none other than perpetual and frequent anxiety disorders and attacks which are accompanied with psychological symptoms such as breathlessness, palpitations, a trembling feeling, dizziness and even a sense of total loss of control over the self. Next in the line of mental disorders are phobias. Humans have irrational phobias such as Acrophobia (fear of heights), Glossophobia (fear of addressing an audience), Claustrophobia (fear of enclosed spaces), Aviophobia (fear of flying). In such situations a human being is preoccupied with a wide range of thoughts, which are normally viewed by sane people as irrational. Last, but no less distressing – on this ill-fated checklist is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). These individuals suffer repeated and recurrent nightmares, flashbacks, impaired concentration, and emotional numbing which invariably follows traumatic or stressful events. Our country is plagued by three major issues namely, addictions, women’s issues, and psychological disorders. Generally, citizens approach tantriks, babas, and quacks hoping for a miraculous cure. It is paramount to meet a qualified medical practitioner. The first step to recovery is medication under the expert guidance of a doctor. Next, after a period of treatment, it would be prudent to contact self-help groups, which sustain the treatment. For instance, undergoing the Happiness Course of the Art of Living, where one learns the Sudarshan Kriya breathing technique which harmonises the body and thought. “No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again,” said Gautama Buddha.

Understanding the law of gratitude and gratefulness

Understanding the law of gratitude and gratefulness Almighty divinity, through the prowess of the grandeur nature, and the resplendent and ever mutating cosmos is eternally showering bounties on humans. However, the human mind is not wakeful or grateful to accept this materiality. A question of attitude It is primarily and predominately our attitude which reinforces gratitude within our personalities. The word gratitude strikes its roots in the word the Latin word gratus, meaning to be thankful. It is always sagacious to recite a short prayer before a meal. Language is no trammel. Annadata Sukhi Bhava. By remembrance of these lines (Sanskrit), we express our gratefulness and indebtedness to the agrarian community and the cook for producing and preparing the meal respectively. Body: a divine instrument Nature has gifted us with something incomparable and priceless, the human body. We have been provided us with a supercomputer of a brain. Prowess of the breath Next humans are blissfully unmindful of the power of our breath. It can be likened to a cell phone which nature has provided to connect us with divinity. Breath is perhaps the most potent form of effervescence and pizzaz of our personalities. Humans are insensible to the fact that ninety percent of toxins get expatriated from our bodies through the potency of breath. If we delve deep into the ancient practices like pranayama or the unique rhythmic technique of Sudarshan Kriya (imparted in various bouquet of courses of the Art of Living) the primacy of breath is understood by us. An inestimable nun Aeons ago lived an exalted and celebrated Zen nun. There were far and few like her. It was believed that few women could attain the venerable state like this pious lady. Once she had undertaken an arduous pilgrimage and arrived at a village as the sun sank in the horizon. In all humility she begged for lodgings for the night. However, the villagers slammed their doors and were unwilling to accommodate her in the village. They were opposed to the tenets of the Zen school of thought. They thought it to be exceedingly revolutionary in nature. Thus, the clichéd and conformist individuals were unwilling to accept the nun into their fold even for a night. The traditionalists banished her from the village and she was compelled to wage the battle against inclement weather out in the cold. At the stroke of midnight, she woke up abruptly unearthed the cherry tree which fed her ravenous body with sweet fruits, talking to the full moon which lightened up the sky. Immediately she was engulfed with waves of emotions and suffused with love and affection for all those who had exiled and expatriated her from the village. She experienced the quintessential silence of an awaked one. She was extremely grateful to the villagers who had not accommodated her, to the cherry tree which fed her, the meditative silence which encompassed her body, all of which had wily nily contributed to her awakening, an almost celestial spectacle. Thus, a stock individual, a savant, a sage or a nun becomes a Buddha the moment he / she accepts all that life brings with it variegated, paradoxical situations. The one who accepts these situations which gratitude and gratefulness, without admonishing anyone or carping verily becomes an awakened one – The Buddha. “Good men and bad men differ radically. Bad men never appreciate kindness shown them, but wise men appreciate and are grateful. Wise men try to express their appreciation and gratitude by some return of kindness, not only to their benefactor, but to everyone else,” said Gautama Buddha.

GRIPPED BY LUST

GRIPPED BY LUST “Those who are lust-infatuated fall back into the swirling current (of samsara) like a spider on its self-spun web,” said Buddha. Aeons ago lived an old farmer whose wife was young and alluring. The prepossessing woman was not satisfied physically by her aged husband and fantasized young men. She hardly attended to household chores and was perpetually looking for the company of youngsters to fulfil her carnal desires. A trickster came to know about the quandary of the winsome one and seeing her alone went up to her uttering, “I am a widower. The moment I saw you I was ensnared by your voluptuous body. I beseech you to give me the pleasure of your company. However, I have very little wealth at my disposal.” Absolutely delighted at the offer the woman blurted, “O handsome one, my husband has plenty of lucre. He is old and infirm. I will embezzle the mammon and jewelry at our house and let us scoot from this place to some far away place where we can spend rest of our lives.” The stripling trickster possessing a chiseled frame became excited and asked the damsel to bring the loot and gold to a place where he would be waiting for her. “We will then leave the place as it darkens,” he informed her. The farmer’s wife waited till it was dark and when her husband fell asleep robbed the money and gold and left the house in the cover of darkness to meet her lover. The mountebank took the bag full of money and gold on the pretext that he would carry it and they began their journey. After travelling some distance, they halted as there was a river to cross. The hoodwinker pondered, “What do I do with this libidinous woman? If someone were to set his eyes on her, he would perforce have to protect her. Let me scoot with the loot,” he decided. His mind was cannonaded with all these thoughts, “Look, my dear, it would be arduous to cross the river. Let me first ferry the money bag to the other side of the river and will come back and we would swim across to the other bank.” The lubricous woman gave the bag to the young charlatan. He requested her to give up her apparel as the clothes could possibly hinder swift swimming. The naïve lewd woman agreed to the proposal. The youthful trickster was now left with the bag and her clothes. Covering her naked body with her hands, the woman began waiting restlessly for the deluder to return. Suddenly a jackal with a piece of meat in his mouth happened to pass by. The jackal happened to see a fish that emerged from the water and in attempting to grab it dropped the piece of meat ran towards it. However, the fish, seeing the rushing jackal, jumped back into the water. Disappointed, the jackal went back to pick up the piece of meat. Unexpectedly a kite swooped and took it away before the jackal could reach it. The naked woman laughed at the jackal that had lost the fish and also the piece of meat. Hurt by the woman’s behavior, the jackal said, “You may be twice as intelligent as I am. But what is the use? You have lost your husband, your lover and your wealth too. The distraught woman realized her folly and entered a temple to pray for her sins as the priest draped her nudity and uttered, “cover your nudity with the cloak of purity. Lust is ephemeral, Godliness is permanent.”

Factors that influence our attitudes in life

Factors that influence our attitudes in life The Mahabharata is one of the greatest epics essayed in the subcontinent, perhaps in the world; it is believed to have been recited by the sage Veda Vyasa with Lord Ganesha himself playing the role of meticulous scribe. The saga captures variegated attitudes and heterogeneous characteristics of humans in both the gross and subtle form. Human attitudes and standpoints emerge in all shades of the spectrum, rather than in simple black, white and grey. Attitude is all Lord Krishna, an Avatar of Lord Vishnu decides to test the waters and mollify the ego, arrogance and anger of the Kaurava scion- Duryodhana. Social influences, overwrought emotions and environmental factors impinge upon human minds. Consequently, individual behavioural patterns become complex and often antipathetic in nature. The mind gets filled with cobwebs and nugatory thoughts and human attitudes towards self and others become ossified. Duryodhana’s mind was prejudiced against his cousins and this attitude was fuelled by his scheming uncle Shakuni, sibling Dushasana and bosom friend and fabled archer, Karna. History is replete with humungous examples of such discriminatory practices. The genocide committed by the Nazis in Germany against the hapless Jewish populace is a singular and extreme example of how prejudice leads to hatred, discrimination and mass extermination of sections of people and humanity. Compassion: an efficacious attitude Aeons ago an estimable Zen Master assembled several monks and novitiates for vigorous sessions of meditation. During one of these sessions a tutee was caught stealing by his colleagues. The guilty was produced before the Zen Master and all those present demanded the he be expelled from the Temple of Knowledge as an exemplary punishment. The Zen Master ignored the entreaties of the monks. Once again, the pupil was caught stealing. This angered the assembly of monks who demanded that the culprit be recompensed so that it had a salutary influence on all the inhabitants of the monastery. After much deliberation on the issue by the Zen Master, he decided not to take any action against the guilty tutee, much to the chagrin of the other inhabitants. The Master proffered that culprit could not distinguish right from wrong, whereas all the others through their breathing and meditation practices had evolved into information giants. “I cannot forsake this mentee, as he needs my help the most, you all have evolved,” said the Master. The guilty tutee was overwhelmed with emotion and fell at the feet of the Master. His querulous desire to thieving disappeared and he promised to turn into a champion human being. The consideration and compassion displayed by the Master was singularly responsible for this change. Psychologists opine that the inclination and slant of humans is immovably wedged in by certain predominant factors like the actor-observer effect arousal by various stimuli, attribution, balance maintained in day-to-day operations, centrality of attitude and impact of various social factors and externalities. Likewise, the Zen tutee was overwhelmed by the tenderness and benevolence shown by the Master and he mutated into a better human being by eschewing the act of surreptitious pilferage. Essentially human beings are social creatures and need to interact with and relate to others. This in turn shapes their attitudes and behavioural patterns. Individual attitudes evolve through continuous learning process. Xenophobia and fondness are a result of various occurrences and their influence on human mind. Impression formation takes place in a systematic manner and is exhibited as decent or indecent behaviour. The illustrious American business honcho, Harold S Geneen was to famously say, “Leadership is practiced not so much in words as in attitudes and in action.”

CONTROLLING YOUR ANGER

CONTROLLING YOUR ANGER Anger or an outburst is an emotion which invariably leads to antipathetic results. Aeons ago lived a sagacious teacher who adopted unusual techniques as part of his pedagogy while imparting knowledge to his students. One day he provided his students an empty jar and a bagful of pebbles. He directed them to fill the jar with as many pebbles as they could. The students fretted as they struggled to insert the pebbles in the jar, but eventually managed to insert them. Subsequently the teacher gave them a bag of sand and guided them to pour it into the jar. The sand filled in all the gaps between the rocks. Eventually, the teacher gave them a pitcher of water and asked the students to pour it into the jar which filled in all the empty gaps. It was then pronounced that the jar represented our lives, and the pebbles, sand, and water typified what we live with. The teacher went on to state that, “If we fill our lives with anger (represented by the pebbles), there will not be any room for anything else. But if we focus on the important things (represented by the sand and water), we could discover a state of happiness and balance.” Among the students lived a boy who was disposed with a foul temper. He would get angry at every little issue. One day, the sagacious teacher gave him a bag of nails and told him, "Every time you get vexed , hammer a nail into that front wall." And thus began the activity. On the first day, the boy hammered 50 nails. The following day, he hammered 40. Each time he used went up to the wall, he repented being piqued. It was quite a challenge to hammer a nail into the bricks of the wall! Slowly, the stripling discovered that controlling gall was easier than hammering countless nails into the wall. The strapping youth had already become a laughing stock of his batchmates performing this wasteful exercise. Over a period, the number of nails hammered began to diminish much to amazement of the student and his friends. Eventually, came a day when he was not cross, and became joyous about the fact. The perspicacious teacher assigned the student yet another task, "If you do not get provoked the entire day, remove one nail from the wall." After several days, amazeballs were raised as all the nails were extricated from the wall. Finally, the teacher took the student near the wall and asked him what he saw? The student replied that he could view holes in the wall. "These holes are like the scars that one leave’s on individuals when a person gets exasperated. No matter how many times you apologize, the scar does not vanish." Thus, “I suggest you to do two things - • Realize that words once uttered linger on. Your irascibility hurts others and leaves a dampener on all. • Each time you feel outraged, "hammer a nail" in the wall. The simplest thing you can do is to carry a pocket diary and draw a line each time you get annoyed. At night, count the number of lines drawn for that day. If you make this a habit, each time you would become waspish, you would be reminded to note it down.,” to the student. Once you follow this regimen, your awareness and memory muscle would increase about the damage you were inflicting among the people with whom you interact. The student had learned his lesson, through this ingenuous teaching imparted by his teacher and controlled his anger.

LIVE AND LET LIVE

Good Morning!!! God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and Wisdom to know the difference. Thy will, not mine, be done. *~*~*~*~*^Daily Reflections^*~*~*~*~* October 30, 2024 LIVE AND LET LIVE Never since it began has Alcoholics Anonymous been divided by a major controversial issue. Nor has our Fellowship ever publicly taken sides on any question in an embattled world. This, however, has been no earned virtue. It could almost be said that we were born with it. . . . “So long as we don’t argue these matters privately, it’s a cinch we never shall publicly.” TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 176 Do I remember that I have a right to my opinion but that others don’t have to share it? That’s the spirit of “Live and Let Live.” The Serenity Prayer reminds me, with God’s help, to “Accept the things I cannot change.” Am I still trying to change others? When it comes to “Courage to change the things I can,” do I remember that my opinions are mine, and yours are yours? Am I still afraid to be me? When it comes to “Wisdom to know the difference,” do I remember that my opinions come from my experience? If I have a know-it-all attitude, aren't I being deliberately controversial? ************************************************ Two Kinds of Pride The prideful righteousness of "good people" may often be just as destructive as the glaring sins of those who are supposedly not so good. << << << >> >> >> We loved to shout the damaging fact that millions of the "good men of religion" were still killing one another off in the name of God. This all meant, of course, that we had substituted negative for positive thinking. After we came to A.A., we had to recognize that this trait had been an ego-feeding proposition. In belaboring the sins of some religious people, we could feel superior to all of them. Moreover, we could avoid looking at some of our own shortcomings. Self-righteousness, the very thing that we had contemptuously condemned in others, was our own besetting evil. This phony form of respectability was our undoing, so far as faith was concerned. But finally, driven to A.A., we learned better. 1. GRAPEVINE, AUGUST 1961 2. TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 30 As Bill Sees It, P.107 ************************************************* Let's Ask Bill Wilson 6Q - What happened to your sponsor, Ebby? 6A - It was Ebby who brought me the message that saved my life and uncounted thousands of others. Because of gratitude and old friendship, my wife Lois and I invited Ebby to live at our home shortly after I sobered up. The son of a well-to-do family in Albany, he had never learned any profession so, he was broke and had to begin all over. These were difficult circumstances, naturally. Ebby stayed with us something like a year and a half. Being intent on getting re-established in life, he took little interest in helping other alcoholics. Little by little, he commenced the rationalization we have seen so often. He began to say that if he had the right romance and the right job then things would be okay. At length, he fell by the wayside. He would not mind if I tell this – it is a part of his story today. For many years, my old friend Ebby was on the wagon and off. Sometimes he could stay sober for a year or more. He tried living with Lois and me for another considerable period but apparently this was of no help. Maybe we actually hindered him. As A.A. began to grow his position became difficult. For a long time, things went from bad to worse. About six years ago the groups down in Texas decided to try their hand. Ebby was shipped non-stop to Dallas and placed in an A.A. drying out place. In these new surroundings in Texas, far from his old failures, he has made a splendid recovery. Excepting for one slip which occurred about a year after his arrival down there he has been bone dry ever since. This is one of the deepest satisfactions that has ever come to me since A.A. started and many another A.A. can say the same. (N.C.C.A. 'Blue Book,' Vol.12, 1960) ******************************************** Thoughts to Reflect on Since I came to The Program, I've begun to recognize my previous inability to form a true partnership with another person. It seems that my egomania created two disastrous pitfalls. Either I insisted upon dominating the people I knew, or I depended on them far too much. My friends in The Program have taught me that my dependence meant demand -- a demand for the possession and control of the people and the conditions surrounding me. Do I still try to find emotional security either by dominating or being dependent on others? Today I Pray May I turn first to God to satisfy my love-hunger, knowing that all God asks from me is my faith. May I no longer cast emotional nets over those I love, either by dominating them or being excessively dependent upon them – which is just another form of domination. May I give others the room they need to be themselves. May God show me the way to mature human relationships. Today I Will Remember To have faith in God's love.