Overcoming Lust

 

  Overcoming Lust

Mahatma Gandhi in his autobiography ,”The Story of my Experiments with Truth” in an unvarnished manner confessed the day his father cast his mortal remains , he was swamped by passion and lust . He was with copulating with his wife Kasturba in a moment of carnal weakness.

 

As his father’s life was moving like a pendulum between life and death , Bapu fell a victim to libidinous activity. And in deep remorse attributed Hari Lal Gandhi’s alcoholism to this frailty of mind.

 

Lust  is a feeling  of strong sexual desire for someone For example  Robert’s relationship with Angie was the first which combined lust with friendship.

However over a period of time lust for her grew until it was overpowering his mind and thought process.

 

 

 

Now one of the objectives  of Buddhism is to “renounce” or overcome lust.  So much so, that the most fervent Buddhists live as celibate monks.  Their hope is to eventually enter Nirvana, a state where they expect to “expatriate   all desires”—not just lust.

Buddhists are perhaps correct  as fiendish desires act as a  trigger  for our troubles despite being abreast with the fact  when a person is subsumed in the cesspool and vortex of lust , the individual hurtles downwards as both mentally and physically he/ she is enfeebled.  Buddhists express their inability to curb these tendencies.  These carnal instincts and thoughts demonise the mind and humans become odalisque and lose vital prana/ energy or qui.

  As per Buddhist scriptures there lived a monk named   Shirman. He was a polymath  who established an  estimable  Temple of Knowledge. While he propagated this  strain of Buddhism once described himself as being “false and untrue without any semblance of  purity of mind.”

The rabbi   was to discover that while pursuing esoteric and  theological work, the mind  ‘was subsumed in the vortex of entanglements and lust.”

Therefore it becomes paramount for both seekers and stock individuals to appreciate  some interesting nuggets in life:

1- Desire per se is not sinful

Desires, cravings, attachments and urges are all means to describe appetite that we have for experiences or possessions both good and bad.   Such desires are not sinful in themselves.  They spring from our RNA and DNA, our experiences,  the  environment we live in  and figments of human imagination and fantasies.

Therefore it is natural and no matter whatever iniquitous object we aspire for is not necessarily a transgression.

2  Intensity of desire does not make it sin

Moreover the intensity of an individual’s desire is not at the bedrock.   It is not even impiety in case a person develops a strong or overpowering thirst for illicit sex, pornography, homosexuality or any trait of this nature.

3 In such a situation what   should  be construed as sinful lust ?

Sin occurs when one appropriates  a misdirected desire and acts on it at the level of the  heart. Physical gratification assumes the shape of  a sinful desire by constantly  lusting in one’s heart. This is a candle which amplifies Achilles heel of a person.

  It is simple to analyse when this pattern occurs  incessantly when the mind and heart is gripped  with sexual lust since  it is always accompanied by a psychobiological trigger. This has been termed as  illicit sexual buzz by spiritual masters and psychologist’s  alike.

 

Apparently Jesus Christ had   termed  this phenomena of  illicit sexual buzz  essentially as “adultery in the heart” and which  resonates in the mind and the individual is immobilised .  The philosophy is quite convicting and piercing especially for those whose conduct otherwise is impeccable  but whose hearts are tenebrous.  This is indeed a  dichotomous situation which humans have to encounter and confront with fortitude.

Destruction of  desire—even if it were a good thing is easier said than  done.  Shinran  the noted Buddhist monk  failed at and reached the tunnel.

In an attempt to "control it", an individual   keeps the thought of  lust outside  the realm of reality. In effect one appreciates that  “the lust" and the individual as two separate entities. If one sincerely intends to eschew the grip of lust, the individual needs to appreciate that the thought springs from the mind and pervades the core of the heart. This disambiguation is essential to be acknowledged.

While   choosing to cognise   the sensations a person becomes aware of the flow of electricity of "lust", then the duality dissolves.  Lust is different from love. Love is all about giving , while lust  borders on acquisition. Love sublimates an individual to a higher power , while lust  is synonymous with Mephistophelian forces and capriciousness.

However there could be some  strategies adopted by a seeker or a stock individual  to obviate the arrow in cupid’s heart.

a) Avoid Tempting Situations

It would be sagacious  to avoid luscious and captivating situations.. An individual should not get trapped by unhealthy desires, be it by umbra or actual events or individuals.  In case the person is seductive or sways the mind and heart it should be ensured that the interaction is in a public glare and space .and others are around.

b) Consider the Consequences

Will an extra marital affair jeopardise a marriage or an existing relationship? What would be the reaction of the existing partner? Before being struck by the cupid’s arrow or chewing the apple one should deeply ponder  about the possible consequences?  Is there a bailout  package to deal with such a  fallout?

c)One should avoid watching pornography

Pornographic material generates lascivious thoughts in the heart and mind of an individual. This stimulates  the focus of sexual desires and  diminishes Sattva in a person.

d) Use Social Media with Caution

Social media has its advantages , in spread of information . However it has several pitfalls as a

e). Question Your Intent

Most times, when our minds wander sexually, we aren’t really seeking pure sex. We are seeking to replace something missing in our lives and our relationships. It could also be that we are trying to distract ourselves from dealing with something difficult. For each man, these things will be specific to his experiences. Figure out the root issue and work to correct it.

f). Practice Sexual Intimacy

“When our minds and hearts are occupied in the right place, sexual lust has little room to operate. ”

While there is no way to go back to how you felt when your relationship was new, there are certainly plenty of ways to regain that level of relational excitement. Improving communication, date nights, passionate kissing and thoughtful gestures are just a few examples. When our minds and hearts are occupied in the right place, sexual lust has little room to operate.

 

g). Consistent Prayer

Prayer is the act of communicating your thoughts, worries, hopes and dreams to God. Lift up the desires you are feeling and ask for help. God made you and knows you and can deliver you time and time again.

h). Choose Your Friends Wisely

When battling sexual temptation, there are plenty of people we can find that will encourage and enable it. You can still be their friend, but by all means, avoid joining them in their poor relational choices.

i) Keep High Standards

To be a gentleman is a choice. A very good choice, and this world today needs many more. Despite the vast amount of temptations that life throws our way, we should hold ourselves to the highest of moral standards. Self-discipline in all areas of our life leads to positive results.

j) Redirect Your Passion

Rather than being controlled by untamed lust, direct that passion in positive directions. Use that energy to brainstorm about ways you can bless your wife. Perhaps focus on things that will make the world better like volunteering at a homeless shelter. Coach a youth sports team. Mentor troubled individuals.