From the desk of Commandant Sikh Regimental Center...........

From the desk of Commandant Sikh Regimental Center........... For all those who think life or people have been unfair to them, I wish to narrate a few details of my short interaction with an amazing person yesterday at the lavishly laid out dining table of the Sikh Regimental Centre at a grand ceremony to host guests from the neighbouring Punjab Regimental centre. Seated next to me on my left was a pedigreed Mrs Shakuntla Devi, a 75 yrs old lady. As the lunch started she asked me who I was and what do I do. And then a few questions about others on the table followed. Very politely I then asked her more about herself which it seems she was very eager to talk about and I listened for the next 15-20 minutes of so between breaks and moments of silence but without having to ask again. I could have actually continued to listen to her for hours. Mrs Shakuntala Devi was the widow of a 1962 War dead and decorated Major Mahander Singh, Maha Vir Chakra (posthumous). She was daughter of a colonel of Medical Corps and was married off to the officer at the age of barely 19 yrs and just a matriculate in end 1960. She stayed with Major Mahender after marriage for around three months when he left for war for liberation of Goa in 1961. Since she was pregnant she left to stay with her parents. They came to stay together after a son was born and stayed so for about five months before the Indo China war broke out in 1962. She was pregnant again and delivered a daughter this time but Major Mahander Singh Choudhary or his remains never came back. She received Mahavir Chakra from the President on 26 Jan 1963 at grand ceremony where she recalls that she was trembling when she reached the President. Dr Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan then had to hold both her hands tightly before placing the medal in her hands to enable her to clutch to the medal and not let it drop down. With two children to feed and bring up, she was finding it difficult to meet the ends. Then there were restrictions of mother in law and ready comments and criticism of the elders and society to be faced even if she wore a dress with a hint of a colour or show that she was 'alive' in any manner. She decided to move away from her in laws and study further. She failed her exams repeatedly over the next few years as she couldnt find sufficient time for herself or to study because of her engagements revolving around her two children. She completed her graduation and encouraged by her new found success, thereafter did Law and then appeared for Civil Services Exam, cleared it, became a civil servant and the rose up to become a Joint Secretary in the Govt. She mentioned that she still shivers with fear as she recalls her early experiences of being a young widow. I believe her completely specially when she says this after having retired from a prestigious post in decision making as part of the Govt. She today leads a contended and happy life and had decided to give away the Mahavir Chakra to the Museum in Punjab Regimental Centre for safe-keeping although she had requested the Commandant to give her a replica for her next generations. Having been associated and worked with pensioners, I asked how much pension was she receiving now and on hearing the amount I was relieved that she seemed to be getting the correct entitlements. She added that she uses the amount now in charity. She was also quick to remark that when she needed most at the time her children were growing she hardly was able to meet ends meet and now she does not require it as desperately. Obvious. I also asked her why her son didn't join Army. Its another tale. She was frightened, she didn't allow her son to join NDA even when he seemed to go in depression because of it. She justified her action. Not only had she been widowed, few years later her sister too had lost her husband in another war and her brother who had just passed out of NDA on his return home just on the outskirts of her hometown fell from train and died. He was actually hanging out of the door of the running train as far as he could to try and see how far was the station (home) and his head banged in a pole next to railway line. Too many losses had occurred in the family. Obviously she didn't dare. As the lunch finished, even before I could say a proper good-bye, she was hurled away by other ladies and officers who had accompanied her though we walked a few steps together. She didnt look back. A proud uniformed man, the brief interaction with the lady set me thinking about a lot of things. Was her struggle for survival greater than the ultimate sacrifice of the War Hero was just one of the thoughts. Another being how many of her types must be existing in the millions out there. Stop crying over minor things, never quit, realign and start over again.