Overcome Grief

 

Overcome Grief

 

 

THE DOCTOR wAs  an  early  riser. Upon waking he hit  the gym. He remained fit and in proper  shape  by  maintaining this regimen. The medico was a noted pediatrician, his wife an eminent  cardiologist.

 Unfortunately their  only daughter suffered  from a  compromised  heart  condition.

The trio had attended a party the previous evening. It was time to drop the daughter to school and the father knocked at the door of the light of their lives.

But the cherubic girl  did not respond . Life was snuffed out , tragedy had struck the family and a pall of gloom descended.

 

A few weeks back an old aunt had kicked the bucket. It was a double whammy for the family and they were inconsolable.

Several centuries ago, in the time of the Buddha, a woman lost her only child to the cruel hands of fate. Wailing and in an anguished state she implored the Enlightened One to resuscitate the dead child. Buddha, the compassionate, agreed to perform the miracle. He asked the lady to collect mustard seeds from all the houses of the village which had never seen death or grief. The woman knocked at the doors of all the houses in the village, but returned empty handed

Handling grief is a challenging task and only skillful minds and hands can undertake this responsibility.

The doctor couple who could not save their precious child were subsumed into a cesspool of anger, guilt, sadness, anxiety, pangs of loneliness, numbness, and a yearning for their beloved one.

To overcome their grief and desolation, the

 

husband, a moderate drinker, became a quotidian one and his spouse began administering herself sedatives.

Several eminent psychologists like Parker, Arewill and Worden have zeroed in on the point that those suffering from grief, need to move on from the feeling of numbness, pining, depression, a feeling of shock and despair to the process of recovery. It is important for the grieving to accept the reality of the loss, experience the pain of the departed one, adjust to the environment of living without the deceased person

Medical science has made rapid advancements such that proper diagnosis, therapy, and counselling along with proper medication can trigger the change agent in the wrecked mind. Alternatively, there are techniques like hypnosis and even providing ECT (in the worst-case scenario) to address the problem.

The Theravada Buddhist traditions have dealt with the

 

subject of handling grief in a dynamic manner. The human mind by the process of strong internal resolution can overcome this vicissitude in life by mindfulness. The process is called Satipatthana.

Sati denotes awareness and patthana stands for keeping the mind in the present moment.

The emotionally wrought can find solace and succor by becoming aware of the reality about the impermanence of events, happenings, and people. The mind should become strong to accept the reality and look ahead.

There are breathing techniques like Vipassana and Sudarshan Kriya which have proven ability to transfigure the mind from a depressed state to a positive one. Both the techniques have been validated by medical science as alternative therapies and have the propensity and power to alter the thought process, bringing it to the present moment.

Several grieving souls adopt holistic measures like the breathing techniques mentioned, meditation, pranayama, yoga, chanting of mantras, being in communion with nature or seva to overcome their grief and restore normalcy in their lives. It is the recalcitrant human mind which acts as a deterrent and needs to be tamed.

“Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is remaking of life,” writes Anne Roiphe.