Dependence -- Unhealthy or Healthy

 Dependence -- Unhealthy or Healthy

 

"Nothing can be more demoralizing

than a clinging and abject dependence

upon another human being.

This often amounts to the demand

for a degree of protection and love

that no one could possibly satisfy.

So, our hoped-for protectors finally flee,

and once more we are left alone –

either to grow up or to disintegrate."

 

We discovered the best source

of emotional stability to be God Himself.

We found that dependence upon His perfect justice,

forgiveness, and love was healthy,

and that it would work where nothing else would.

 

If we really depended upon God,

we couldn't very well play God to our fellows,

nor would we feel the urge to rely

wholly on human protection and care.

1. LETTER, 1966

2. TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 116

 

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‎ Love and Tolerance

Daniel J Schwarzhoff‎ - Recovered Alcoholics

 

"Love and Tolerance is our code" and Step Ten

is where it's at in order to keep alive sobriety,

but also, patient forgiveness that changes our world.

By not hating, not resenting, not getting sore,

not feeling threatened or hurt –

we bring love through our personal portals to earth.

Our spot here, where we live,

is either a piece of heaven or else it is a living hell,

depending on how we react to all the cruelties

that people toss in our direction.

We will not always be able to duck them.

We don't grow through them if we do avoid these.

And so, face them we must.

What's vital is how we react when they land on us.

That's all there is to the difference

between being happy joyous and free

or else restless, irritable and discontent.

The choice is ours.

Properly translated, "Love thy neighbor," proposes,

"Do not hate your neighbor".

No wonder the co-authors were sure that

unless we practice Step Ten daily that

we would be headed for trouble.

They called it resting on laurels.

 

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Although the act

of nurturing another's spiritual growth

has the effect of nurturing one's own,

a major characteristic of genuine love

is that the distinction

between oneself and the other

is always maintained and preserved.

--M. Scott Peck. M.D.

 

Those we love must be free

to love us in return, or leave us.

The honest evidence of our love is our commitment

to encouraging another's full development.

We are interdependent personalities

who need one another's presence

in order to fulfill our destiny.

And yet, we are also separate individuals.

We must come to terms with our struggles alone.