“NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER- As received

all the avid cricketers, JJ et al This was written by a cricketer’s wife in fun - New Zealand’s greatest all-rounder, the late Martin Crowes wife, Lorraine Downes, a former Miss Universe on his 7 death anniversary on March 3, 2023 in Auckland. Apparently, he had a great sense of humor and to be a wife of a cricketer, you must’ve an even bigger sense of humor and understanding. So here it goes…. Come all ye fair young maidens, harken unto me! Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be. Randier than a sailor who's been six months at sea, Never let a cricketer's hand an inch above your knee. First let's take the paceman, pure speed from first to last, My darlings do be careful; his balls are hard and fast. Then there's the medium pacer, his balls swing either way; He's really most persistent and can keep it up all day! Watch out for the off-spinner girls, another awkward chap. If you leave him half an opening, he will slip one through the gap! Then there's the wily 'slowy', pure cunning is his strength; He'll tempt you, then he'll trap you with his very subtle length. So ladies, do be careful, your mothers would agree. Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be. And what about the opening bat, his struggles never cease! He has only one ambition, to spend all day at the crease. The number three is a dasher, he seldom prods and pokes. When he goes into action, he has a fine array of strokes.. And do beware the slogger, not content with one or two; When he arrives at the crease then only six will do. Then there's the real stonewaller. Girls! he knows what he's about; And if you let him settle in, it's hard to get him out! We come now to the last man, I hope this will not shock, He doesn't mind if he's last man in, as long as he gets a knock. So, darlings, do be careful, and be well warned by me: Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be. And watch the wicketkeeper. Girls! he's full of flair and dash; And if you raise your heel, he'll whip them off in a flash. If you take the field with the capt'n, you had better know the score; Or he'll have you in positions that you never knew before! The cricket commentator is a nasty sort of bloke, He watches all the action and describes it stroke by stroke. Even the kindly umpire, who looks as friendly as a pup; You'll quickly find you've had it, when he puts his finger up! So, darlings, please remember and repeat it after me: “NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER, WHOEVER HE MAY BE!!!!!”