*FUNNIEST QUOTES ABOUT AGEING*

*FUNNIEST QUOTES ABOUT AGEING* "To get back to my youth, I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde. "Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir. "The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. - Mark Twain. "As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom. "Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane. "When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain. "Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen." - Mark Twain. "First, you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg. "The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot. "A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’" - Claude Pepper. "If you want to know how old a woman is, then ask her sister-in-law." - Edgar Howe. "Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson. “Ageing seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins. "Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty." - Joan Rivers. "At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers. "I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often… but I’m well preserved." - Rose Kennedy. "The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." - Unknown. "We don’t grow older. We grow riper." - Pablo Picasso. "I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast." - Anonymous. “It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” - Andy Rooney. "I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin. "I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope. "I’m 59, and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer. “By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” - George Burns. "I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein. "There’s one advantage to being 102. There’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg. "Regrets are the natural property of grey hairs." - Charles Dickens. “Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier.