There comes a moment in every South Indian man's life

There comes a moment in every South Indian man's life when he stops being "anna" or "thambi" and becomes an "uncle". There is no official notification. No farewell ceremony. One day, a complete stranger smiles politely and says, "Excuse me, Uncle..." The first time it happened to me, I looked behind to see which elderly gentleman was being addressed. There was none. The "uncle" was me. [Jana Uncle] I was quietly offended. The young persons themselves did not look all that young. Surely they were stretching the definition of "uncle". But there is no appeal against this promotion. Over time, I accepted my fate. Then I realised something even more alarming. By the time I had become comfortable being called "uncle", I had entered the age group where many people are already grandfathers. Life moves faster than our self-image. In India, "uncle" is a remarkable institution. It is neither a family relationship nor an age. It is an all-purpose title for any respectable (?) gentleman whose exact identity is unknown. Shopkeepers, neighbours, security guards, fellow passengers - we are all simply "uncle". And once you become an uncle, certain privileges arrive automatically. You begin distributing free advice without being asked. You explain how children should study, how governments should function, how cricket should be played, how marriages should be saved, and why mobile phones are ruining civilisation. Decades of experience have convinced you that your opinion is too valuable to remain unspoken. When two uncles meet, the conversation follows a familiar script. They exchange medical reports, compare medicines, discuss property prices, praise the discipline of their own generation and finally reach the inevitable conclusion that today's youngsters are hopelessly directionless, impatient and shameless. The youngsters, of course, have their own view. They believe uncles know everything except how to use the latest mobile app, pay by QR code without assistance or stop forwarding dubious WhatsApp messages. So I have made peace with the title. If someone calls me "uncle", I smile. After all, it is better than being ignored