*Become a Better Human..*

*Become a Better Human..* One thing all the successful people have in common is that is humility and how they treat people, even those who may not matter to them or won't meet ever again. What stands out isn’t their lifestyle, but their calm. Coffee order gone wrong? They just drink it. Flight delayed? They will just open a book and start reading. Restaurant service is too slow? They keep the conversation going. While the rest of us complain about things we can’t control, They have already moved on. They will respond to a message / mail and always return a call if they are busy in the first place. They have a process in place for the same. They never forget their Thank you and Sorry. They are grateful, even for the small mercies. Their default setting is to be polite. Kindness is second nature for them and they are generous beyond a point. They are usually big Givers and know that you must always provide more in value than what you get in return and the world will soon reward you with more. Positivity is their basic nature and they will always look at the brighter side. They are the fastest to accept and adapt to change and look for opportunities in the process. They tend to encourage more and criticise less. They lead by example and Walk the Talk. I have realised that Success often changes how people spend emotional energy. People operating at big scales think in years and decades, not minutes and inconveniences. They simply refuse to waste attention on small battles. Not every battle deserves your attention. When you have financial and psychological security, you don’t need to fight every minor irritation. You learn to conserve emotional energy for decisions that actually matter. Your attention is a limited resource. Spend it on what actually moves your life forward and not on things that don’t matter. They follow the axiom, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... and It's All Small Stuff." Become a better Human, success will follow. Stay blessed forever

DIVE INTO FAITH

DIVE INTO FAITH 13. Ramayana by Valmiki There is an old fable that when Valmiki completed his Ramayana, Narada said, “It’s good, but the one written by Hanuman is better.” Valmiki was affronted by this remark of Narada Muni. He wondered whose Ramayana was verily better. He found Hanuman’s Ramayana inscribed on seven broad leaves of a banana tree. The plunderer-turned- saint to his amazement found it to be perfect. It had an exquisite choice of grammar and vocabulary, metre and melody. Soon he broke down and wept incessantly. A startled Hanuman wailed, “Is it so terrible?” “On the contrary, this one is a distinguished piece of art form,” remarked Valmiki. “If that be so, why are you crying?” asked a now comforted Hanuman. “The truth is, upon reading your Ramayana none will read mine,” replied Valmiki. Hearing these words Hanuman, the Wind God tore up the banana leaves declaring that no one would ever read Hanuman’s Ramayana. Valmiki was astonished at this act of Hanuman. Hanuman replied, “You need your Ramayana more than I need mine. You wrote Ramayana so that the world remembers Valmiki; I penned my thoughts in the form of Ramayana so that I remember Ram.” At that juncture Valmiki realized how he had been subsumed by the desire for validation through his work. He had not used the work to liberate himself from the fear of invalidation. The Ramayana of Valmiki was a product of ambition; while Hanuman’s Ramayana was a craft of sheer devotion. Therefore, Hanuman’s Ramayana sounded so much better. There are several people like Hanuman who do not scorch the ramps or receive ovations from rambunctious crowds. They merely accomplish their tasks and execute the role assigned. There are many unsung “Hanumans” in our lives… our spouses, parents, friends and colleagues. It is the art of gratefulness to be constantly thankful to them and acknowledge their role in making our lives better. 14. Reclining Wind God Allahabad is a prominent city in the most populous state of India that is Uttar Pradesh. There are as many as 80 Lok Sabha seats from this gargantuan state. There is a significant saying, that the party which is the sovereign and suzerain of Uttar Pradesh (the Hindi Heartland) conquers India. The road to Delhi traverses through Uttar Pradesh. Quintessentially, the state has sent Pandit Jawahar Lal Nehru, Lal Bahadur Shastri, Indira Gandhi, Rajiv Gandhi, Vishwanath Pratap Singh, Chandrashekar, Atal Bihari Vajpayee, and Narendra Damodardas Modi to the Parliament of India, who all were catapulted to scale the summit and become the Prime Ministers of the largest democracy of the world. Even Gulzari Lal Nanda who was to twice hold the prized and coveted position of the Prime Minister of India albeit as a caretaker hailed from Uttar Pradesh. Triveni Sangam, the confluence of the Ganges, the Yamuna and the mythical and invisible Saraswati rivers, is considered to be pre-eminently holy by Hindus. The Sangam is in close proximity to the 16th century Allahabad Fort, built by Mughal Emperor Akbar. In the fort are several architectural marvels such as the ancient sandstone Ashoka Pillar, the underground Patalpuri Temple and a sacred banyan tree. The estimable Allahabad University where eminent Hindi poets like Harivansh Rai Bachchan and Firaq Gorakhpuri (Raghupati Sahay) imparted English was once known to be a factory churning out dozens of civil servants. With the passage of time, this “Oxford of East” has lost the prima donna spot. The bustling city which is the cradle of “Kumbh Mela” organized once in twelve years is teeming with a large population and is quintessentially catholic and pluralistic in nature. The landscape is dotted with mosques where the muezzin reads passages of the Holy Quran and several churches and Christian landmarks and edifices dot the city, apart from Hindu temples. The Nehrus had handed over the sprawling Anand Bhawan and Swaraj Bhawan to the Congress Party and Gandhiji to launch the struggle against foreign yoke. This is also the place where the revolutionaries were to wage a war against the diabolical and tyrannical British rule. Chandrashekar Azad fired the imagination of the youth to pull the trigger to combat the British. The history of the idol of Shri Bade Hanumanji, situated at the Sangam Kshetra of Prayag is very unique. The story connected with the history of the idol goes like this. In the city of Kannauj an opulent but issueless trader resided. He was blessed with large sums of money and material and all the enjoyments of life; but tragically did not have a child who could carry on the legacy. In sheer desperation the trader traversed to the foothills of to construct a temple for Hanuman ji in order to fulfil his wish of being blessed with a son. In the chain of hills of Vindhyachal the merchant had constructed a huge statue of Hanuman ji out of stone. He decided to bathe the statue of Hanuman ji at several places of pilgrimage. While bathing this statue of Hanuman ji at different pilgrim spots he eventually arrived at Sangam Kshetra of Prayag. While he was taking rest as the shadows fell and the sun sank in the womb of the Prayag, he dreamt that if he would leave the statue at this holy place all wishes would be fulfilled and the hankerings would drop. At crack of dawn the following day he decided to work on the lines of the previous night’s dream. Thus, he left the statue at Prayag Kshetra and the luxuriant purveyor left for his city, Kannauj. After a passage of time, a son was born to his wife by the munificence of Shri Bade Hanuman ji. After some time, the huge statue of Shri Bade Hanuman ji remained submerged in the waters and got embroiled under the sands. Meanwhile a mendicant Mahatma who was performing penance with Vyaghracharma arrived at Sangam Kshetra in the holy month of Magha to take a dip at Triveni. The pious and perspicacious sage was known by the name Balgiri. Fortunately, one day when the Mahatma was piercing his trishul in the sand to form his dhooine, he got an inkling of a gargantuan statute, through his clairvoyant powers. The sagacious Mahatma Balgiri began to sift the sand from the spot. He soon spotted the Shri Vighrah (statue) of Shri Bade Hanuman ji. After purifying the Shri Vighrah, he meditated on the valorous qualities of Lord Hanuman. Populace in the neighbourhood were subsumed with the effulgence and radiance of Lord Hanuman and the devotion and miraculous qualities of sage Balgiri. The aura and fame of Shri Bade Hanuman ji expanded rapidly. There is another twist to the tale of the Shri Vigrah. It is believed that Mahatma Shri Balgiri ji Maharaj was bestowed with the mammoth statue of Lord Hanuman. He made valiant efforts to make the statue stand erect but he failed. Subsequently the statue was tried to be laid in the fort. After numerous abortive efforts, devotees were unable to remove the idol from its place. Thus, it was conjectured and concurred that Shri Bade Hanuman ji did not wish to be removed from that particular place. All efforts were terminated and consequently the statue was left at the place where it was first established by saint Balgiri. To this day thousands pay their obeisance to Lord Hanuman on the banks of the Ganges. 15. A Successful Leader Only a trailblazer entity with innovative thinking has the virtuosity and versatility to upend the pyramid and produce dramatic results. This is true of an individual or an organisation. Needless to say, a successful leader must be highly motivated, a team worker, independent thinker and be highly focused and disciplined. A successful leader or entity needs a skill set that goes beyond the obvious, to provide the cutting edge to deliver at the world stage. A master tea maker Aeons ago, perched on a hill top was a consummate tea maker. His virtuosity in the craft was unparalleled. Serpentine queues of curious onlookers, expectant youngsters seeking to become apprentices and tea lovers desirous of savouring the elixir of life called tea, were commonplace outside his cottage. One day a querulous Samurai happened to singe his tongue while sipping the Master’s tea. Piqued and incensed, he challenged the master to a duel. The battled hardened Samurai raised his sword and charged towards the Master tea maker. “I am an ignoramus in strategy and warfare. My entire life has been spent perfecting the art of making tea,” exclaimed the Master tea maker. He took a momentous decision to pass on his legacy and the reins of the establishment to his favourite mentee. The ashen faced acolyte beseeched his master to accept the gauntlet. Giving him his sword, he asked the Master to face the challenger by raising the weapon in the same manner that he raised the teapot. Accepting the advice, the Master raised the sword without a glitch, undeviating. The combatant was awe-struck seeing the Master wield the sword with remarkable countenance. Assuming the Master to be skilled in wielding the weapon, he beat a hasty retreat from the cauldron. The story reveals how authentic mastery of one craft is of greater significance than attempting to master multiple skills just to appear more formidable. Certainly, an individual can multitask but only after becoming proficient in one craft. To be a successful leader it is always advisable to acquire expertise in one area of specialisation. Core competency matters As a marketing strategy, gargantuan corporations like the Tatas and the Reliance group have cannonaded the electronic and print media about their products. The focus on their core competency never wavers, even as they diversify into various product lines. Reliance incessantly focuses on petrochemicals even as it forays into telecom, jewellery, clothing, footwear etc; similarly, steel manufacturing by the Tata group is strategically displayed even as they sell salt. Phenomenal all-rounder cricketers like Imran Khan, Kapil Dev, Garry Sobers, the talismanic Chappell brothers, Shaun Pollock among others have embellished the game of cricket with their splendid stellar performances. They were either gifted batsmen or bowlers. They honed their skills in one particular aspect of the game to produce high octane performances and over a period of time improvised their skill set in other departments of the game too. Albert Einstein, one of the two pillars of modern physics are better known for his scientific contributions rather than his ability to play the piano, even though he was more than an amateur in the latter craft. Coke and Pepsi have ventured into more than fifteen brands while continuing to market their primary product- the soft drink. Upgrading and enriching skills The unrevealed secret of any triumphant leadership is to burnish a particular expertise and then make forays into unchartered territories. Psychologists have zeroed in on certain compelling traits that separate celebratory individuals and organisations from the pedestrian. These are intellectual and personal skills and enhancing creativity to deliver in such a manner as to be the cynosure on the world stage. Brawny organisations and the gallant never hesitate to undertake a SWOT analysis. They are neither enfeebled by the opprobrium of covetous self-seekers nor overwhelmed by the eulogy of legions of followers. Intellectual and personal skills Primary among these skills is the ability to establish a connection, to empathise. The finesse and aptness to lionize interest in other’s cultures, experiences, values, point of view, goals and desires provides the cutting edge. This can be exhibited through gestures, in writing or verbally and is an invaluable strategy to foster esprit de corps among the workforce. Exceptional leaders have the uncanny skill of disentangling and decoding the most complex and vexed problems. This is often the defining moment in their lives and careers. The momentous decision of Dhoni to tweak the batting order against the Lions of the Emerald Island piloted India to victory in the 2014 World Cup final. The iconoclastic Steve Jobs was expelled from Apple, the company he co-founded, yet he went on to establish Pixar which dramatically altered the contours of the animation industry. Jobs revolutionised the major industries of movies, music and phones. The trait of an accomplished and contented person is perspicacity. He/she would not exhibit intolerance, ambiguity or uncertainty in grappling with contentious situation. Such well-developed affective skills go a long way in soothing frayed nerves and preventing absolute bedlam in an organisation or in the personal lives of individuals. Communication: A two-way process Personality attributes defined by an attitude of glasnost and perestroika are centrifugal characteristics of achievers. They wade through the swathes of covenants, conventions and doctrines to discover perceptible solutions. Intrepid and mettlesome individuals or organisations have the quintessential ability to communicate ideas, feelings and emotions both formally and informally. This dissemination of thought processes can be verbal, non -verbal and written.

12. Overcoming Grief and Bereavement

12. Overcoming Grief and Bereavement Once humans begin to accept the unalloyed truth that there is no permanence, they can examine the present and overcome every situation. He was a nonagenarian and had led a life full of vicissitudes. There had been high noons and some cathartic moments too. But he was a contented person as his children and grandchildren were ‘settled’ in their respective fields. However, impermanence is a fact of life and he succumbed to multiple organ failure. Today only his memories linger in his son’s house, residing in a framed photograph. Ill-health prevented him from meeting his older brother, (a centurion himself), who had departed for his heavenly abode sometime earlier. This had rankled considerably and he never quite recovered. By the time life was snuffed out of his body he was absolutely emaciated, with glazed and haunted eyes which perhaps saw impending death, and a parched mouth, wide open. The entire body was bruised and punctured with innumerable needles. The vital prana or the subtle life force which provides human existence and energy was quenched away by the mandarins of death. That night the mortal remains were kept in the hospital mortuary. One reckons his soul would have been meandering, hoping for redemption when the body would be consigned to flames. It is said that parents are our first teachers. Parents act as cicerones for their children, urging them to take baby steps into the world and to eventually take decisions and face various challenges in life. Once in adulthood, children still look to their parents for percipient advice as they navigate their lives. ‘Children’ feel mentally at ease that their parents, though in the winter of their lives, are around to provide succour. But the demise of elders, relatives and in particular parents, shears the concealment of protection. What does one do when a dear one ceases to exist? “Time will take care of it. Definitely, if someone you love crosses over, grief overtakes you. But see it from a broader angle — we all have to go one day; someone has taken an earlier flight and we have to take a later flight. When you see the impermanence of everything, you will gain the strength to overcome the grief. Again, and again, you have to put your attention on the impermanence of everything,” says Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. Mindfulness and grief At the core of Buddhism is the concept of mindfulness, and it is inexplicably connected with impermanence. Impermanence is a Buddhist concept that has brought comfort to several people once they lose close ones. When humans value permanence they focus towards the future obsessively or dwell on the past. However, if the mind is convinced about impermanence humans begin living in the present moment. Sages from the ancient times – with enormous perspicacity- have developed palliative techniques to overcome cataclysmic situations. These include chanting of mantras, listening to religious texts, meditation, pranayama, Vipassana and the rhythmic breathing technique of Sudarshan Kriya. Mindfulness can act as a centrifugal force in life; a state in which one becomes aware of the present; of thoughts and feelings, various physical experiences, and the world around us. Once humans begin to accept the unalloyed truth that there is no permanence, they can examine the present and overcome every situation. How do mindfulness and acceptance of impermanence act as a sword to combat grief and the sense of bereavement? There are two common ways many of us cope with grief – either one is completely subsumed by the thought and feels entrapped like a bird in a cage. Or the mind is channelled by the techniques mentioned to become robust and mettlesome to grapple with ill-disposed thoughts and is aware of an alternative paradigm to move on with life despite adversity. A question does plague the mind as to whether humans can conquer the devastation of grief in its entirety? The truth is perhaps that that does not occur. But it does help in altering the trajectory, intensity, the shape and form of the aftermath. Mindfulness, awareness and acceptance of impermanence assist in arresting the trend of obfuscation of mind by demons of gloom. This sets in the motion the acceptance of the reality of bereavement. It is said that time is a great healer to overcome grief and bereavement. Perhaps a few notches above that, is performing seva (service to the society) and surrender to the vast universe and the Almighty to combat grief.

11. My Mother, A Woman of Substance - Bala Sriram

11. My Mother, A Woman of Substance - Bala Sriram “The rain drops from the sky: if it is caught in hands, it is pure enough for drinking. If it falls in a gutter, its value drops so much that it can’t be used even for washing the feet. If it falls on hot surface, it perishes. If it falls on lotus leaf, it shines like a pearl and finally, if it falls on oyster, it becomes a pearl. The drop is same, but its existence & worth depend on with whom it associates.” Always be associated with people who are good at heart. This is what Swami Vivekananda said. My mother shares her birthday with Swami Vivekananda (12th January). Association and satsang have been her strong points. She nurtured strong bonding with all religious faiths and spiritually inclined people. I recall her association with Satya Sai Baba, Ganapathi Sachchidanda Swamiji, Raghavendra Swami Mutt, Swami Chinmayananda, Jiddu Krishnamurti, Mahesh Yogi and Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. Not to forget her association with Mother’s International, Mother Teresa, CBCI and CARITAS. She wanted to pursue medicine but life did not take that trajectory. “Faith plus action becomes unstoppable” writes Jonathan Lockwood Hue. So, she upended the pyramid and became a qualified medical social worker and worked diligently at the Rajan Babu TB (RBTB) Hospital, Delhi. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar says, “Open your hands and sky is in your hands.” Inorder to combat and challenge the disease of tuberculosis she initiated several rehabilitation projects. This included creche for the children of those afflicted with this malady, Stitching Centre, candle and match making units. She used to tell patients and their children that “Fear is only as deep as the mind allows”. Thus, patients afflicted with TB, but not bed ridden participated in the projects. This was what she called “Diversionary Therapy”. The patient’s mind was diverted from the disease and recovery rate was rapid. In these endeavors she was extended tremendous support from eminent people like Shri A. Rama Rao of Khadi and Village Industries, Professor Shankar Pathak of Delhi School of Social Work, Shri A.V.K. Chaitanya a Trade Union leader and confidante of Shri George Fernandes, Bibi Amtus Salam, veteran Congress leader, Shri Dhanraj Ojha a RSS leader and Bishop Remegius and Bishop Rego of the Catholic Church (CBCI and CARITAS). The mission was to serve. And religious barriers did not pose any problems. As the objective and goal were so lofty the universal energy ensured that the left, right and centre all collaborated with certitude. “Mind is not a dustbin to keep anger, hatred and jealousy. But it is the treasure box to keep love, happiness and sweet memories.” said Swami Vivekananda. Thus, RBTB Hospital became the melting pot of all religions to forge hands and assist in the mammoth task of rehabilitation of the afflicted. The hospital became a unique template for the methods adopted by doctors, para-medic staff, social workers, government bodies and NGOs all to contribute in the rehabilitation of the patients. Climate changes, civilizations collapse, government change, political affiliations alter and even the best possible model collapses. This is inevitable. As Buddha said, “The only permanent thing in life is impermanence.” The lofty objectives were not approved by a new set of hospital administrators and the beacon of hope collapsed. This was extremely traumatic for my mother and she became a patient of Paroxysmal Atrial Tachycardia (PAT). This is a type of arrhythmia (irregular heartbeat). Paroxysmal means that the episode of arrhythmia originates and terminates abruptly. Atrial implies the arrhythmia starts with atria or in the upper chambers of the heart. The tachycardia results in significant increase in the heart beat per minute. It abnormally increases the pace, like an athlete on a treadmill. PAT significantly increases the heartbeat of an adult from the normal 60 to 100 to 130 to 230 and among infants and children it shoots up from 100 to 130 to 220 beats per minute. It is accompanied with severe sweating, dizziness, palpitations, angina and acute breathlessness. Normally a patient suffers from such a condition owing to emotional upheavals, physical exhaustion, deep anxiety, consumption of caffeine or alcohol. I saw my mother suffering from this condition on several occasions and being admitted to the ICU. It was a distressing and disturbing sight. While it is not life-threatening affliction, it certainly disorients the psychology and attitudes of the patient. During her suffering we saw her clutching on to her rosary as a life saver, while we prayed fervently for her recovery. She was administered medication but it worked only to an extent. The real help came in form of a pentagon shaped talisman. That is through Siddha Healing, Pranic Healing, the 10-day Vipassana Course and the Part1 and Part2 Art of Living courses. This is the infinitesimal power and scientific power of breath. Breathing techniques, meditation, medication and proper diet changed the trajectory of the life of the patient and brought back the mojo in her life. “When you take the breath in, let become your meditation that all the suffering of all the beings in the world is riding on that incoming breath and reaching your heart. Absorb all that suffering, pain and misery in your heart, and see a miracle happen,” said Osho. She has retired now but continues with her sadhana unfailingly. Senior citizens, those in pain and agony and even the able bodied should undertake the courses mentioned. Swami Vivekananda took yoga to America and spread the Ramakrishna Mission. He was the Arjuna of Shri Rama Krishna Paramahamsa. This article is a tribute to Swamiji and also to my mother. My mother imbibed the trait of service to mankind by reading extensively about Shri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa and Swami Vivekananda. The year 2020 A virulent virus which is assumed to have originated in the dragon land of China assumed monstrous proportions and spread like a pandemic across the swathes of the globe. India and Prayagraj too were not spared by the lethal pestilence. The robust lady, a woman of substance contracted the disease on the 23rd of December, a day after I was detected positive with the pestilence. Six days prior to when she would have celebrated her eighty-fourth birthday, and in spite of testing negative for Covid, life was snuffed out and she entered the empyrean. She was on the ventilator, something my mother would have abhorred as the lethal virus had entered her lungs. Strangely at 7:30 a.m. that morning, though enfeebled by the pernicious disease, I was performing Sudarshan Kriya and had a premonition that my mother had entered vaikuntha. The previous night belts hung in my cupboard kept falling repeatedly for no particular reason. Was it an indication that the soul was precariously swinging between the Zion and earth where mortals dwell? A few minutes later my wife knocked on the door and with misty eyes and a choked voice conveyed the news. My sister was soon connected through WhatsApp call and the news was broken. Uma. my sister was devastated hearing about cataclysmic tragedy… We are yet to recover from the body blow. There is profound silence in her room where some belongings are kept… along with the photograph of H.H. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar and Hanumanji. I visit the room every day and feel her presence. I would attribute the tranquility in the room to her sadhana. Mother used to get up at twelve in the night and follow a strict regime which included Vipassana meditation, Pranic Healing, Siddha Healing, Mudra Pranayama and then Sudarshan Kriya. This lasted for almost six hours. She was also religious in taking her short walks …. Not the proverbial 10,000 steps but reasonable for her age. So how did she contract the disease and leave for heavenly abode. Destiny, Karmic Cycle? These are perhaps rationalization by the human mind. Death by Khalil Gibran This a poignant tome on life and death as I gather my thoughts in melancholia. Then Almitra spoke, saying, we would ask now of Death. And he said: You would know the secret of death. But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life? The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light. If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life. For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one. In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond; And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring. Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity. Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour. Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king? Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling? For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered? Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

9. The Pandemic Continues

9. The Pandemic Continues First up, we brace with some cold numbers. Towards the end of December, 2020 as many as 75 million humans were afflicted by the dreaded novel Corona virus or COVID-19, accounting for 1.6 million deaths. One of the most highly developed nations in the world, the USA lead the pack in terms of those afflicted as the inauguration of Joe Biden took place amidst extraordinary political, public health, economic, and national security crises, including the ongoing Covid 19 pandemic and former President Donald Trump’s ugly and brazen attempt to overturn the Presidential results amidst storming of the Capitol Hill by a rampaging mob. Erudite scientist, Stephen Hawking had advanced the argument that man would need a new planet to inhabit as they would have to counter nuclear warfare, climate change and biological warfare in the near future. Did the English cricketer Jofra Archer in his prescient tweets predict the pandemic or was it mere coincidence? But certainly, there are early references to pandemics in the Bible and treatises like the Yoga Vasishta. As per the Old Testament, as man was overcome with avarice and practised idolatry, he earned the wrath of God. As a result, ancient Egypt was afflicted with plague during the times of Moses. Yoga Vasishta is a dialogue between sage Vasishta and Lord Rama, while Rama was a tutee of the sagacious sage. Apparently, there was a female demon (rakshasi) who survived high in the Himalayas. Through rigorous penance she obtained a boon from the creator, Lord Brahma, to be able to metamorphose into the form of a needle. This needle or suchika afflicted humans in the heart, pulmonary tract and the spleen and normally survived in filth. Today, as India has opened up after a series of lockdowns and initially the frontline workers and senior citizens are being inoculated with the two vaccines available. India has managed to unleash two vaccines in form of COVISHIELD and COVAXIN, which should keep naysayers and predictors of doomsday at bay. AN ODE TO MY PARENTS 10. My Father, An Erudite Pluralist- V. Sriram The date was 27 February, 2018. His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar travelled from Varanasi to Lucknow and thence to Gorakhpur on a Rail Yatra, similar to the one he had undertaken in Andhra Pradesh in 2014. That evening he came to our house. While ecstatic devotees were waiting to have his glimpse and seek his blessings, “Gurudev” as he is called by legions of his followers walked up to my ailing father, Valluri Sriram, garlanded him and uttered, “I have come to see you.” Exactly a year later, 27 February, 2019 the mortal remains of my father, whom my younger sister Uma and I addressed as Appa would be consigned to flames. Appa passed away last evening, after his fourth hospitalisation at Prayagraj, succumbing to multiple organ failure. He was stricken with complications of the heart, COPD (he was not a smoker), Parkinson’s and finally brain atrophy. Witnessing the organs of a nonagenarian capitulating is a dreadful sight. It is quite like a forlorn parrot in a cage seeking freedom. There is an intense battle between the body, the spirit, the mind and the soul. Ultimately it only proves that despite modern technology at human disposal we are mere mortals. Appa seemed to have lost the will to continue once his elder brother Valluri Kameshwar Rao (ICS retd.) passed away in November 2018 at the grand age of 104. Confined as he was to the wheelchair, Appa could not attend the last rites of his dear brother, something that devastated him enormously. The youngest of six siblings, my father was born on June 10 in West Godavari district of Andhra Pradesh in 1927. Despite being born into an orthodox Brahmin family he had chartered a separate path altogether. He joined the non-vegetarian mess in Andhra University where he was a tutee of economics. After completing his M Phil, he migrated to Delhi University to pursue his doctorate under the towering Dr V.K.R.V. Rao. Here he was to rub academic shoulders with such intellectual giants as Dr K.N. Raj, Dr Amartya Sen, Dr Sukhomoy Chakroborty and none other than Dr Man Mohan Singh. He was always in pursuit of perfection and excellence and thus often missed the wood for the trees. He was unable to complete his thesis, though he wrote several papers on Macro and Micro Economics. Pandit Nehru was singularly impressed with my father’s intellectual prowess and Appa went on to be a member of a team that visited China in 1955 and interacted with eminent Chinese leaders like Chou En-Lai and Mao Tse-Tung. Appa used to narrate in an animated manner about the growth in China and the Great Wall of China, the only man-made structure thought to be visible from Earth’s satellite moon. Appa had several friends and associates. Late Shri P.H. Vaishnav, a sterling bureaucrat of the Punjab cadre was one among them. My father and Vaishnav Uncle, both avid Wodehouse fans would often recall snippets from Wodehouse and the house resonated with laughter. The turning point in my father’s life was the birth of my sister Uma. She was his talisman and soon he was to work in FICCI, followed by ASSOCHAM and finally as secretary to Shri Hari Shankar Singhania. Shri Valluri Sriram was a socialist by heart and ideological training. He shared a close association with several socialist stalwarts including Dr Ram Manohar Lohia, Shri Jai Prakash Narayan, Shri George Fernandes, Shri Chandrashekar, Shri Madhu Dandavate and the popular Prime Minister Shri Atal Bihari Vajpayee. Appa was part of the committee which drafted the manifesto of the Janata Party in 1977. I fondly recall when Telugu Desam was the principal opposition party, Shri Madhav Reddy, leader of Opposition in the Lok Sabha and Shri P. Upendra would visit our house seeking advice on a broad spectrum of economic issues. Professor S.H. Pathak of the Delhi School of Social Work was his close friend. It was at Pathak Uncle’s house that we would meet eminent theatre and film personalities like Girish Kasarvalli, B.V. Karanth and Girish Karnad among others, which fuelled my deep interest in dramatics. However, Appa was deeply distressed during the 1984 riots and the dismantling of the disputed structure at Ayodhya which reflected his pluralistic nature, a trait he continued to deeply cherish till his demise. Certainly, he was neither religious nor spiritual by nature. He was cast more in the mould of an agnostic attempting to unravel the mysteries of the universe through the prism of Nehruvian thinking and his training in economics. Whilst his elder siblings had unflinching faith in Sathya Sai Baba and I am ardent follower of H. H. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar my father attempted to discover the virtuosity of nature by his readings of Stephen Hawking, Jim Holt, Steve Jobs, Carl Sagan among others. Obviously, the logical side of his brain was developed immensely, always demanding proof. In this pursuit, he found robust companions in my children Siddhartha and Tejala, both of who are highly sceptical of “gurus”. My parents in particular have been highly catholic by temperament and I was educated at St Xavier’s School, Delhi and my sibling at the Presentation Convent. We were also closely associated with the church through priests like Bishop Rego and Bishop Remegius and also Mother Teresa. This certainly opened several vistas to my thought process. Among the myriad experiences I have had in life was the visit of Shri Sundar Lal Bahuguna, the noted environmentalist to our home because of my father’s association with FICCI and ASSOCHAM. Appa always rued the fact that he could not complete his doctorate nor join the Indian Administrative Service, a cross he bore all his life. It was ironical that last evening as we stepped out of the hospital, it began to pour. Even the Gods in the empyrean had tears to shed and would be getting ready to welcome Appa (a copy of his favorite Economist magazine in hand). Today his mortal remains lie in the mortuary at the Central Railway Hospital before being consigned to flames in the evening. But when he was physically fit, he flitted between dargah, church and temple in search of the quintessential truth owing allegiance only to financial and intellectual truth. May, his soul rest in eternal peace. For sure, he would now have the chance to discover the eternal truth. “How’s the josh?” the doc asked Father, who mumbled something incomprehensible. Sodium and other electrolytes appeared to be low and the nonagenarian could not distinguish between day and night, between tenebrosity and luminosity, between sanity and insanity. This was the fourth occasion that he was admitted into the ICCU in the last few months. The doctor persisted. Father looked askance; a glazed look in his eyes. He had slumped in bed that afternoon, with BP and pulse not registering. And the oxygen monitor read an ominous zero. For the first time, I saw a flushed look on my mother's face. It was red, not radiant. As devout Hindus, she, my wife and my sister who had come over from Boston switched on the Hanuman Chalisa, the Rudram and the Lalita Sahasranamam in quick succession. The Gods were invoked on the pretentious gizmos to resuscitate a person who appeared to be choked. “How’s the josh?” the doctor enquired once again. Prana levels were ebbing. The patient’s josh was revived partially with the help of a saline drip. With repeated pestilence there was atrophy of veins. But perhaps Almighty God, my unflinching faith in H.H. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar and the resonance of the mantras conjured a Mandrake like magic and he was wheeled in an ambulance to Heartline. “How’s the josh?” Father had recovered partially and a feeble smile played on his emaciated face. Father was administered the Holter Monitor test and the doctor was of the opinion that he would be discharged the next day. “How’s the josh?” Our josh was spirited and we felt relieved. I placed a photograph of the Gods below his pillow beseeching them to be his guardian angels. But the following day the frail body was inflicted by septicaemia. Blisters had formed on his feet as they were exposed to high temperatures when a hot water bag was placed to alleviate pain. Father in the hazy and muggy state felt that a patient on the adjacent bed was his brother who refused to engage in a conversation. My uncle had cracked a century four years back and cast his mortal remains just a few months back. This perhaps had had a deleterious effect on Father’s mind and body. How did our fabled Rishis live for hundreds of years? Pranayama, diet, meditation and no antipathetic or Sisyphean thoughts. That was their josh and the elixir of their lives. Gandhiji once famously said that he would live up to 125 years. That was his josh - his diet, Kriya Yoga learnt from Paramahamsa Yogananda and daily evening satsangs. His Holy Grail of course was non-violence. “How’s the josh?” the doctor asked Father to bolster his courage and conviction. But soon the entourage of specialist doctors recommended a CT scan. The nonagenarian was wheeled out from the hospital to a CT scan centre. That is the state of medicare in the country. Fortuitously the CT scan report suggested atrophy and nothing worse. The result was slowed down reflexes and an inability to swallow food orally. He is now being fed through a nasal pipe. The stripling youngster serving Father is quite distraught that this is the only way to feed him. Father remains incoherent, with an unchanging distant and forlorn look in his eyes. Life in the ICCU for the patient is pathetic and for the kith and kin who attend to him is depressing. We are keeping a vigil outside the hospital, with prayers on our lips and trying to fortify our josh. “How’s the josh?” Well, we attempt to keep it unflagging for optimism is the only key to overcome any misadventure in life. 11. My Mother, A Woman of Substance - Bala Sriram “The rain drops from the sky: if it is caught in hands, it is pure enough for drinking. If it falls in a gutter, its value drops so much that it can’t be used even for washing the feet. If it falls on hot surface, it perishes. If it falls on lotus leaf, it shines like a pearl and finally, if it falls on oyster, it becomes a pearl. The drop is same, but its existence & worth depend on with whom it associates.” Always be associated with people who are good at heart. This is what Swami Vivekananda said. My mother shares her birthday with Swami Vivekananda (12th January). Association and satsang have been her strong points. She nurtured strong bonding with all religious faiths and spiritually inclined people. I recall her association with Satya Sai Baba, Ganapathi Sachchidanda Swamiji, Raghavendra Swami Mutt, Swami Chinmayananda, Jiddu Krishnamurti, Mahesh Yogi and Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. Not to forget her association with Mother’s International, Mother Teresa, CBCI and CARITAS. She wanted to pursue medicine but life did not take that trajectory. “Faith plus action becomes unstoppable” writes Jonathan Lockwood Hue. So, she upended the pyramid and became a qualified medical social worker and worked diligently at the Rajan Babu TB (RBTB) Hospital, Delhi. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar says, “Open your hands and sky is in your hands.” Inorder to combat and challenge the disease of tuberculosis she initiated several rehabilitation projects. This included creche for the children of those afflicted with this malady, Stitching Centre, candle and match making units. She used to tell patients and their children that “Fear is only as deep as the mind allows”. Thus, patients afflicted with TB, but not bed ridden participated in the projects. This was what she called “Diversionary Therapy”. The patient’s mind was diverted from the disease and recovery rate was rapid. In these endeavors she was extended tremendous support from eminent people like Shri A. Rama Rao of Khadi and Village Industries, Professor Shankar Pathak of Delhi School of Social Work, Shri A.V.K. Chaitanya a Trade Union leader and confidante of Shri George Fernandes, Bibi Amtus Salam, veteran Congress leader, Shri Dhanraj Ojha a RSS leader and Bishop Remegius and Bishop Rego of the Catholic Church (CBCI and CARITAS). The mission was to serve. And religious barriers did not pose any problems. As the objective and goal were so lofty the universal energy ensured that the left, right and centre all collaborated with certitude. “Mind is not a dustbin to keep anger, hatred and jealousy. But it is the treasure box to keep love, happiness and sweet memories.” said Swami Vivekananda. Thus, RBTB Hospital became the melting pot of all religions to forge hands and assist in the mammoth task of rehabilitation of the afflicted. The hospital became a unique template for the methods adopted by doctors, para-medic staff, social workers, government bodies and NGOs all to contribute in the rehabilitation of the patients. Climate changes, civilizations collapse, government change, political affiliations alter and even the best possible model collapses. This is inevitable. As Buddha said, “The only permanent thing in life is impermanence.” The lofty objectives were not approved by a new set of hospital administrators and the beacon of hope collapsed. This was extremely traumatic for my mother and she became a patient of Paroxysmal Atrial Tachycardia (PAT). This is a type of arrhythmia (irregular heartbeat). Paroxysmal means that the episode of arrhythmia originates and terminates abruptly. Atrial implies the arrhythmia starts with atria or in the upper chambers of the heart. The tachycardia results in significant increase in the heart beat per minute. It abnormally increases the pace, like an athlete on a treadmill. PAT significantly increases the heartbeat of an adult from the normal 60 to 100 to 130 to 230 and among infants and children it shoots up from 100 to 130 to 220 beats per minute. It is accompanied with severe sweating, dizziness, palpitations, angina and acute breathlessness. Normally a patient suffers from such a condition owing to emotional upheavals, physical exhaustion, deep anxiety, consumption of caffeine or alcohol. I saw my mother suffering from this condition on several occasions and being admitted to the ICU. It was a distressing and disturbing sight. While it is not life-threatening affliction, it certainly disorients the psychology and attitudes of the patient. During her suffering we saw her clutching on to her rosary as a life saver, while we prayed fervently for her recovery. She was administered medication but it worked only to an extent. The real help came in form of a pentagon shaped talisman. That is through Siddha Healing, Pranic Healing, the 10-day Vipassana Course and the Part1 and Part2 Art of Living courses. This is the infinitesimal power and scientific power of breath. Breathing techniques, meditation, medication and proper diet changed the trajectory of the life of the patient and brought back the mojo in her life. “When you take the breath in, let become your meditation that all the suffering of all the beings in the world is riding on that incoming breath and reaching your heart. Absorb all that suffering, pain and misery in your heart, and see a miracle happen,” said Osho. She has retired now but continues with her sadhana unfailingly. Senior citizens, those in pain and agony and even the able bodied should undertake the courses mentioned. Swami Vivekananda took yoga to America and spread the Ramakrishna Mission. He was the Arjuna of Shri Rama Krishna Paramahamsa. This article is a tribute to Swamiji and also to my mother. My mother imbibed the trait of service to mankind by reading extensively about Shri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa and Swami Vivekananda. The year 2020 A virulent virus which is assumed to have originated in the dragon land of China assumed monstrous proportions and spread like a pandemic across the swathes of the globe. India and Prayagraj too were not spared by the lethal pestilence. The robust lady, a woman of substance contracted the disease on the 23rd of December, a day after I was detected positive with the pestilence. Six days prior to when she would have celebrated her eighty-fourth birthday, and in spite of testing negative for Covid, life was snuffed out and she entered the empyrean. She was on the ventilator, something my mother would have abhorred as the lethal virus had entered her lungs. Strangely at 7:30 a.m. that morning, though enfeebled by the pernicious disease, I was performing Sudarshan Kriya and had a premonition that my mother had entered vaikuntha. The previous night belts hung in my cupboard kept falling repeatedly for no particular reason. Was it an indication that the soul was precariously swinging between the Zion and earth where mortals dwell? A few minutes later my wife knocked on the door and with misty eyes and a choked voice conveyed the news. My sister was soon connected through WhatsApp call and the news was broken. Uma. my sister was devastated hearing about cataclysmic tragedy… We are yet to recover from the body blow. There is profound silence in her room where some belongings are kept… along with the photograph of H.H. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar and Hanumanji. I visit the room every day and feel her presence. I would attribute the tranquility in the room to her sadhana. Mother used to get up at twelve in the night and follow a strict regime which included Vipassana meditation, Pranic Healing, Siddha Healing, Mudra Pranayama and then Sudarshan Kriya. This lasted for almost six hours. She was also religious in taking her short walks …. Not the proverbial 10,000 steps but reasonable for her age. So how did she contract the disease and leave for heavenly abode. Destiny, Karmic Cycle? These are perhaps rationalization by the human mind. Death by Khalil Gibran This a poignant tome on life and death as I gather my thoughts in melancholia. Then Almitra spoke, saying, we would ask now of Death. And he said: You would know the secret of death. But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life? The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light. If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life. For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one. In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond; And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring. Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity. Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour. Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king? Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling? For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered? Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

8. Life in times of Pandemic

8. Life in times of Pandemic There was once Bubonic plague and then it was followed by the Spanish Flu aeons later, which claimed millions of lives across the globe. In fact, Spanish Flu resulted in loss of more human lives than the two World Wars put together. Such was the cataclysmic catastrophe which left humanity numbed. In 2019 an invisible microorganism which apparently originated from Wuhan in China locked down nations. Lives have been lost and by the day numbers are spiraling. Further, economic activity hit rock bottom. Is it apocalypse? A pandemic swept across the swathes of the globe, and afflicted people in every corner. In a globalised, inter-connected world, humans wear masks, have now to resort to social distancing and several worked from home; isn’t this the ultimate irony? This is the price humanity pays as COVID – 19 takes over. Indians like rest of the world went through a series of lockdowns and gradually opened up various sectors of economic activity. Even now several educational institutions are functioning virtually impinged with large scale uncertainties. Economic wheels are slowly churning back in the faint hope of a revival as the process of vaccination has finally begun. Origin of lockdown in India The technique of lockdown involving the masses was also employed by the Mahatma during the Civil Disobedience movement. It was an absolute shut down across swathes of the land when Satyagraha, prayer and non-violence and non-cooperation were deployed as tools against fiendish forces represented by the British. The novel method shook the very foundations of the British suzerainty. These were political stratagems to combat the demonic powers of foreign occupation. Today humans through self-imposed home-exile and social-distancing developed a stratagem to grapple with this vicious and virulent virus which assumed an octopus-like grip over humanity, as finally vaccine visible on the horizon. But yet we need to maintain social distancing and not lower our guard against the disease as several new mutations emerge. Plagues and other epidemics have struck humanity with ferocity in the past as well; the Great Plague in Europe and parts of Central Asia in the 14th century and the small pox epidemic in Mexico in 1520 being two well-known examples and of course the Spanish Flu. In these times of adversity for human beings, nature is finally getting a chance to breathe freely. When the pandemic broke out it was reported that that streams in Venice witnessed large numbers of dolphins, fish and swans, species which had all but vanished. The airport at Tel Aviv was a testimony to Egyptian birds walk across like mannequin airhostesses, baboons in Singapore were found straddling the streets and seem to obeying the regimented laws of the city state. This ought to teach us to live in harmony with other species. But this is possible only if humans are not caught in the vortex of self-aggrandizement and acquisition. The silk-stocking and upmarket individuals necessarily need to eschew their habit of avarice and contribute towards sharing, caring and expressing unalloyed love. The USA had reduced funding to WHO, but the ultra-rich across the globe can contribute towards poverty alleviation, medical services, protecting the environment and reducing pollution levels through tempering their wants and desires. As we slowly begin to operate from the sanctuary of our dwelling places, humans need to differentiate between loneliness and solitude. Loneliness will make us mental wrecks. We will not be joyous and loving but grumble, and develop antagonistic attitudes. This loneliness needs to be transfigured and metamorphosed into solitude. Solitude is a state of becoming antarmukhi; a state of being in harmony with the outer world while looking deep within in order to suffuse the mind with efficacious thoughts and draw on our inner reservoirs of energy. Spending time at home, humans were required to develop their immune system and several had given this an immediate priority. There are solutions aplenty. Eschew white sugar totally. Apparently even one table spoon reduces immunity levels by half. To remain fit one can, tend to the greenery in our balconies or garden, do plenty of yoga (what about 108 sets of Suryanamaskars), spot jogging etc. This is the time to pray, fast and meditate. Pranayama and deep breathing techniques help expel toxins from the body and act as immunity boosters. When the country first shut down to combat the ailment on 22 March, people re-discovered yoga, pranayama and observe deep silence. In that silence Indians cogitated on the sound of the Universe, the Soham Swarup of this majestic creation and a state of “thoughtlessness”. So in the times of this pandemic savour the solitude. Take deep breaths and clear your mind of the shroud of cacophonous fear. Wherever you are, just relax, relax, relax, rejuvenate your minds and bodies, connect with your families, learn new skill sets and crafts … and discover the YOU in the silence.

7. Looking Back at 2020

7. Looking Back at 2020 Life is brimful of peaks and valleys. There are highpoints and then one hurtles into a precipice. Human life is akin to a synodic curve. There are moments of extraordinary achievements, celebrations and then the unexpected occurs. As Buddha says, “The only permanent thing in life is impermanence.” This is so apt in the rapidly changing environment. In 2016, I had published two books, conducting Art of Living Courses, learning Hindustani Classical music, but was not professionally satisfied. I yearned for a challenging posting in the Indian Railway Traffic Service. And then the wheels of fortunes altered and I was posted as the Chief Operations Manager, North Eastern Railway, Gorakhpur. From the proverbial loop line of the railway, I was in the mainline. And within a year, I was posted as the Principal Chief Operations Manager, North Central Railway Allahabad (now referred to as Prayagraj). This is one of the most demanding and exacting position on Indian Railways handling freight and passenger traffic. The world saw Corona in 2020 and during the lockdown and several periods of work from home, I could author three books, two translations and wrote for two anthologies. Creativity was as its peak. The last four years have seen me write with gusto and also perform with credit professionally, but was to lose my parents – my father in 2019 and mother in 2020. I was distraught with the tragedies and am still to overcome the grief of bereavement. In December 2020, I contracted COVID-19 and so did my mother, and I bear this cross, with my mind always cannonaded with the thought as to whether I transmitted the infection to her. The thought of lighting the funeral pyres of my parents have deeply impacted my mind and feel the house to be to be desolate and forlorn. In particular, consigning my mother to flames at the electric crematorium wearing the PPE suite as I was still recovering from Corona haunts me to this day. For me writing is a passion and a therapeutic exercise. We worked on a novel, which has been put on the pause button for certain inexplicable reasons. This again is indicative of recurring changes which take place at the subterranean levels about which the gross mind is absolutely unaware of. Only the subtle mind and energies can perhaps fathom the reasons. Meanwhile, to fuel the passion and to calm my frayed nerves, I pulled out a bunch of articles which I am sure readers would connect. It is my journey and voyage of several others ……an attempt to make a paradigm shift from negativity to positive mindset. While, maintaining strict protocols, a Swami, a seeker and a novitiate settled down to their sadhana unmindful of woebegone news which spread across the globe. They loosened up after an early morning bath, followed by Suryanamaskars (Sun Salutations), Padmasadhana (a set of yogic exercises), followed it performing Sudarshan Kriya and meditating for a while and then went about their daily routine of performing seva/service Later in the day, they participated in meditation programmes conducted by the Master himself. This has provided ballast and robustness to their existence. Seva is an integral part of Art of Living and, the group have been conducting in a quotidian manner an online breathing and meditation programme which has provided succour to thousands. A year back Hong Kong and Shenzhen are the twin cities in the magnificent Pearl Estuary of China. As the crimson red sun sank for the final time on 31st December in South China Sea a group of batch mates from an estimable management institute in India landed at the Hong Kong International airport. They caroused at the voguish beaches and market places of Hong Kong and then drove to Shenzhen the gleaming tech park city of China whose landscape is dotted with skyscrapers and marked opulence. Amidst all the revelry and ho-hum the group also ventured to discover tranquillity and hush and sush at the preeminent Phoenix Mountain Temple and the Dragon Temple which is nestled in exotic mountains. Some of them marvelled the architecture and others paid obeisance to Lord Buddha. No sooner were they back to Hong Kong that news of a virus which had flu like symptoms spread like wild fire. Very soon information filtered that the virus emanated from the Wuhan province of China with speculations rife that it either emanated in a laboratory on account of an accident, or through nocturnal mammals like bats or from some filthy places. However, the great firewall of the government blanked out the information. And soon the opulent Indians beat a hasty retreat back home. The oldest alive Kane Tanaka the 117 years old Japanese is the oldest surviving person on planet earth who was a witness to the outbreak of the scourge of Spanish Flu. She celebrated her most recent birthday in a nursing home in Fukuoka, Japan with pieces of delectable cake. Kane revels to keep her mind active, and on a normal day at the nursing home, she wakes up at 6 a.m. and in the afternoon often studies subjects such as maths. One of Kane’s favourite pastimes is a game of Othello and she’s become an expert at the classic board game, often beating the staff. And like several Japanese she practices Zazen breathing and meditation practice which explains her longevity. T-20 The year gone by has rolled like the tumultuous and breathtaking game of the faster version of the game of cricket unlike the riveting test match cricket which has twists and turns. 20-20 bludgeons its way to the rambunctious crowds and deep pockets of the numerous stakeholders. We have witnessed in this clamourous T-20 of our lives in the form of Covid Pandemic which has accounted for a 1.7 million deaths, Joe Biden worsted Donald Trump to assume the august office of Presidency, the racial riots in United States of America following the inhuman elimination of a black man George Floyd in Minneapolis by brute power of the state police, China emerging as a singular economic power through the predatory tactics of a wolf, tanking of the oil prices across the globe and the biggest migration of labour in India. Amidst all this despondency as in Twenty-Twenty (T-20) emerged a super over. The super over for the world today is the vaccine to combat the lethal virus is the vaccine which will act as a protective shield for swathes of population across the world There are primarily three vaccine candidates which need the approval of WHO-EUL/PQ authorisation. Way back in 1995 New Year’s was a grand celebration...like every other day. All those present were in a state of Divine reverie and Sri Sri was astonishingly radiant and sparkling with joy. Guruji merely uttered, “Joy is dissolving...losing your identity. Rest is dissolving...losing your identity.” The message for 1996, Sri Sri said is- Just BE Relax and Just BE A curious devout asked Guruji – What is the nectar of Life? Sri Sri replied – Infinity and Divinity. Optimism Sun will sink again on the 31st of December and luminosity will eclipse tenebrosity as humanity will survive another day with hope payer and Sri Sri’s message for 1996- JUST BE.

6. Keys to De-addiction

6. Keys to De-addiction Do those dependent on alcohol have it in them to stay half-an-hour without alcohol? Alcoholism is a pestilence and I was afflicted by it for several years. The disease impacted me immensely. It was only my wife and parents who stood by me, offering support in my most trying moments. My wife enrolled me for the Part 1 course of the Art of Living while I was posted at Jaipur. Winter had arrived in Jaipur and the weather was chilly. Any stock individual would have preferred the warm climes of a quilt. Yet my wife faithfully dropped me to the centre and picked me up from there for seven days when I had undertaken the course. Like a zombie I used to attend the course. Addicts need to upend the pyramid, detoxify their minds and bodies and once again discover love in their lives. It is paramount that they discard feelings and emotions of futility, guilt, inadequacy and self-rejection. They have to strengthen their minds and make it robust to eschew dependency on alcohol. Such craftsmanship and techniques are encompassed in the Pragna programme of the Art of Living and is providing succour to addicts. Various Art of Living programmes address different sections of society to provide alternative and holistic therapies to ameliorate the physical and mental conditions of overwrought people. How does one conduct the course for hardened alcoholics and drug addicts, who are in a perpetual state of self-denial? They look at the teacher in the most disgusted manner possible, with disbelief writ large on their faces. Courses of the Art of Living for addicts need to be supplemented with regular follow-up sessions. The breathing technique of Sudarshan Kriya and the knowledge points of Gurudev begin to unfold, with a salutary impact on the minds of the addicts. Slowly, the determination to metamorphose and transfigure their lives and eschew dependency on the substance begins to develop. What really touches the heart is when an addict takes the first step. They break down as they seek help. “Sir, aap humko chod kar jaoge toh nahin?” (Sir, you will not forsake us?) “Sir, aap roz aoge na?” (Sir, will you come and meet us every day?) is the common refrain, as they develop a bond with the teacher. One recalls the gloomy but riveting movie, One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest; how the inmates lodged in a mental asylum had reached a state where they were determined to break the bondage and run away. Similarly, the youth and middle-aged persons with families and children back home yearn for love and affection and pine to be with their loved ones. The addict becomes determined to break the four walls of the rehab centre. Normally the mind of an alcoholic borders on futility, guilt, a gargantuan burden of inadequacy, self-rejection, self-depravation and self-dejection. After the initial treatment at the rehabilitation centre and subsequent exposure to the unique rhythmic breathing technique of Sudarshan Kriya they began to believe in the “Power of Now”, the efficacy of “Living in the Present Moment”. Every day is a new day, a harbinger of hope and the addicts realise their self-worth and the “Power of Love and Acceptance” and begin giving themselves positive strokes. The concepts of the “Power of Now” or the “Present Moment” have been postulated by several masters of the past, in the oriental and occidental world. In India, Maharishi Patanjali, Gautama Buddha, the Advaita saint Adi Shankara have written and spoken about it extensively. In present times the quintessential rhythmic breathing technique of Sudarshan Kriya transmogrifies the human mind to the present. Authors like Eckhart Tolle, Robin Sharma, Deepak Chopra and Louise Hay too have emphasised on reengineering the human mind to remain in the present moment to combat various challenging situations in life. In Gorakhpur is a centre run by a doughty lady whose husband was an alcoholic. As a goodwill gesture the couple inaugurated the centre and have made it their mission to provide shelter and comfort to those suffering from alcoholism. The inmates of the centre could remain half-an-hour without alcohol, can you? This is the question that resonates in my mind, the question I pose to any addict. The answer is simple; it is possible only through surrender to a higher power, the supreme intelligence of the Universe. “If you keep on drinking rum, the world will soon be quit of a very dirty scoundrel,” wrote Robert Louis Stevenson. C WITH CORONA

5. Efficacy of Sudarshan Kriya

5. Efficacy of Sudarshan Kriya Some years ago, while I was posted at Gorakhpur, an Art of Living devotee happened to read my maiden book, The Matter of the Mind, wherein I narrated the efficacy of the Sudarshan Kriya technique and how it extricated me from the cesspool of alcoholism. It seemed aeons ago, when my mind was subsumed by tenebrosity and hurtling down the hubristic path on account of excessive drinking. My wife in sheer desperation enrolled me for the Part 1 course (now called the Happiness Programme). Today by the grace of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar and the breathing technique of Sudarshan Kriya I am sober. The devotee connected me to an estimable psychiatrist and soon along with two other faculty members, we began conducting courses for alcoholics and drug addicts at a rehab centre. They were around 40 and we were three. Some looked menacing, others disenchanted, a few enveloped by ennui. But in our arsenal was the potent cassette of Sudarshan Kriya and enveloped with the divine benediction of Gurudev. We began with gentle warm ups. This was followed by pranayama and finally Sudarshan Kriya. A few hardened addicts attempted to derail the Kriya. But the febrile minds gradually settled as the rhythms of Soham resonated the dingy hall. Meaning of Sudarshan Kriya The unique breathing technique of Sudarshan Kriya is the fulcrum of the Happiness Programme of the Art of Living. Su means proper, Darshan implies vision and Kriya is a purifying action. Through the actions of our breath, we appreciate a proper vision of who we really are. It is momentous to understand that nature runs on a rhythm. For instance, the sun rises and sets at a particular time, similarly seasons arrive and exit at predetermined times. Humans feel hungry or sleepy at certain times. Our emotions, feelings, thoughts are all cast in the symphony of rhythm. We are unable to distinguish between cacophony and symphony in this frenetic pace of life which is cannonaded by innumerable thoughts, continuous action and noise. When sounds are harmonised by the syllable of Soham we can term it as magical music. Enlightenment is not accruing anything providential but harmonising our whole being rhythmically. During the breathing process participants feel varied sensations, emotions, tingling sensations, laughter, weeping among others. But the objective is to keep breathing to the syllable of Soham in (chanted in Gurudev’s voice). Eventually all the accumulated stress is extricated and a person is thoroughly relaxed. One can experience this entire process only by undertaking the course. The breathing technique was cognated by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar after being in silence for a period of 10 days on the banks of Bhadravati River at Shimoga, a small town in Karnataka. Cassandras of doubt and prophets of doom have questioned the salutatory benefit of the course and the breathing technique. Researchers at NIMHANS and AIIMS have zeroed on the impact of the breathing technique, which improves the heart rate, benefits cognition, improves breathing pattern, restores calmness in the mind and body, arrests Alzheimer’s affliction, works positively on the endocrine system, all of which increase energy (or prana) levels in the human body. This technique has been used successfully used on victims of trauma, on terrorists and Naxalites. This wonderful knowledge and wisdom have triggered humanness to blossom. Every cell and article of the body overflows with jollity and life is abundant with the glow of love and the body becomes the wick. Love and belongingness become a natural process of our inner being if practiced unflinchingly and unfailingly. Several practitioners feel they can practice the breathing technique at home. But that is only walking half the path. It is indispensable and paramount that one must practice the technique daily and attend the follow up once a week, where a certified Art of Living teacher plays the chant of Soham in Guruji’s voice as it reinvigorates the body and mind. One should also be wary of imitations available on YouTube these days. Breath is the very kernel of our very existence. Therefore, it is essential to breath to the correct technique. A person will gain more spiritually and physically by traversing on this journey by taking part in the bouquet of courses offered by the foundation. The entire voyage is to spread waves of happiness across the universe.

4. Magic of Mudra Pranayama

4. Magic of Mudra Pranayama Pranayama is the fourth principle of Ashtanga Yoga as delineated by Maharishi Patanjali. Pranayama should be coupled with mindful eating and breathing. Yogic science of mudras Lord Krishna in the Bhagvad Gita says, “there is nothing as sacred as knowledge”. Knowledge can be acquired by the human mind through the 5 Ds- dedication, determination, dynamism, devotion and discipline and one H- Humility. The human mind can harness this potential only if it is in the present moment and not in a fragmented state. By practicing proper breathing techniques, like Sudarshan Kriya and Nadi Shodhan Pranayama and through regular meditation the mind becomes wakeful and alert to delve deep into this knowledge. It is indeed salutary and efficacious to learn about mudras. Practice of mudras is not just in the domain of dancers, painters and artistes, even stock individuals who have nothing to do with the art world ought to learn about mudras. The science of mudras, is intrinsically related to the esoteric knowledge of yoga and which can be further segregated into the five elements, the five life forces (or subtle forces of energy called the pranas) and the three doshas. The five elements are namely – Akash (ether or space), Vayu (air), Agni (fire), Jal (water) and Prithvi (earth), and the five life forces or pranas are Prana, Udana, Samana, Apana and Vyana and the three doshas are vata, kapha and pitta. Humans unconsciously practice mudras. For instance, the Namaste Mudra or a young child begins learning to walk with his thumbs raised which is called the Meru Dand Mudra. An infant in a deep slumber, his index finger would involuntarily touch the thumb and the other three fingers are on the base of the palm (Chinmaya Mudra). The universe in its auto-mode conjures these processes to take place about which we are totally oblivious to the occurrence. Some other mudras which need to be practised are: (a) Jnana mudra This is performed to increase brain power, improves memory and for the removal of negative thoughts and thereby one attains peace and bliss. (b) Prithvi mudra This helps in balancing the five sense organs, improves blood circulation and enhances our energy levels. Practicing of this mudra assists in increasing our alertness. (c) Apana mudra This facilitates in an improved elimination process, revitalising the digestive system, improving the gums and strengthens immunity. (d) Prana mudra This mudra addresses the problem of fatigue; it also provides essential vitamins to the body besides increasing stamina and vigour to the human body. It also helps in maintenance of the health of our eyes. (e) Dhyana mudra Essentially, this mudra helps in making us mindful and wakeful and we are at peace with ourselves. Over a period of time, we attain peace of mind. (f) Shunya Vayu mudra Practice of this mudra helps in combating problems of flatulence and gastric ailments. The gut houses our solar plexus, which is also referred to as the second brain. We need to take adequate care of our abdomen as a majority of human ailments arise from this part of the body. Therefore, there is enormous merit in the adage, ‘Health is in your hands’.

3. Power of Pranayama

3. Power of Pranayama India and the world are combating a lethal microorganism. The novel Corona virus has afflicted millions of people across the globe and some cold statistics stare us in the face. Across continents many have contracted the pestilence. Of those, unfortunately several have capitulated and precious lives have been snuffed out. The virus strafes the lungs first and thereafter could go on to affect other parts of the body too. Therefore, it is paramount to strengthen and bolster the immunity to ward off the malady. The immune system is a complex network of cells and proteins that defends the body against infections. It makes sense to keep this system well-tuned. Wearing of masks, maintaining social distance, consuming plenty of warm water preferably laced with honey and lime are standard recommendations. We need to add breathing exercises, yogic practices, a nourishing diet and meditation (to keep the mind calm in such stressful conditions) to the above list. Need for pranayama The word pranayama can be broadly shivered into two segments. Prana implies the vital source of energy (the subtle life force) and yama is the control or extension or expansion. Therefore, pranayama can be enlarged as the extension of this dimension of prana. When our energy/prana or chi levels are low, we feel enervated. This invariably occurs when we eat in gargantuan proportions rather than partake of smaller more suitable quantities, either sleep excessively or do not have adequate rest. In all such cases there is a significant expenditure of the vital life force. In these testing times, replenishing doses of energy is paramount. Energy can be restocked through the regular practice of pranayama, yoga and meditation. This fortifies the flow of prana through the nadis or energy channels in the human body to support our immune system. Depletion of energy takes place on account of disruption in our life style, dietary indiscretions, emotional upheavals, or lack of physical exercise besides the human mind undergoing unnecessary stress, as it is relentlessly cannonaded with information about the spike in the cases of COVID-19. By nature, humans who do not live in the present moment latch on to the coattails of Sisyphean and antipathetic thoughts. The human body becomes weak and depleted of energy when we compromise on the four vital sources of energy. These are essentially food, breath, rest and a calm and meditative state of mind. Negligence on our part leads to excessive pressure on the body and mind and thereby the immunity system of the body is enfeebled. When the human mind is not in the present moment it oscillates like a pendulum between the past and the future and invariably feels distressed and distraught. Consequently, our breathing pattern becomes rapid and shallow. Proper breathing acts like a tonic in manifold ways. It strengthens the immunity system, recharges our depleted batteries and assuages an overwrought mind and helps to live in the present moment. Thus, there is a deep and subtle connecting between the breath, body and mind. Effective and rhythmic breathing ensures that we live in the present, thus the mind is calm, collected and in a meditative state. In such a state, positive endorphins are released and the body is healthy and robust to be able to combat disease. Now through regular practice of pranayama and breathing techniques like the Sudarshan Kriya, the mind gets entrenched in the present moment. The human body is powered by five primordial elements. These are earth, water, fire, air and space. These are all extremely important, interwoven and interrelated but it is vayu (air) that sustains our life. We can be without food or water for a few days but cannot survive without breathing. Our rishis have succinctly opined that pranayama is nothing but the worship of Vayu Devata or the Wind God. The powers of vayu are immense and were known to our ancestors and the rishis. No wonder we pray to Lord Hanuman during our trials and tribulations. He is the closest to Narayana, nourishes and sustains us and strengthens our bodies physically and mentally. Yoga is a much-misunderstood word. It is assumed to be merely a set of physical exercises. That is an incorrect perception. Yoga in Sanskrit actually means yuj (that is the union with the self and divine). Yoga transcends to the metaphysical and is not merely confined to the realm of mere physical plane. These are keys to balanced physical and mental health. Fortuitously the generation today is verily being exposed to the secrets of breath and this is a positive development. “Breathing in, I calm body and mind. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment I know this is the only moment,” says the spiritual master and writer Thich Nhat Hanh.

2. Breath is a Blessing

2. Breath is a Blessing What is the very first act upon being born? No rocket science here, we inhale! Our very last act is to exhale. All masters have at length deliberated on the subject. Yet we need to develop the habit of being mindful of our breathing patterns and style. From our first breath on, every minute of our lives, we continue to breathe, taking this miraculous ability for granted because our body’s autonomous system does the job so masterfully – and yet, we can control the breath and in doing so change our state of being. We tend to think that only food provides us with the energy to survive. This is an incorrect assumption. Essentially, there are four sources of energy that sustains us. These are food, breath, rest and a calm and meditative state of mind. The quantity of food partaken is also very significant. As per Ayurveda there are three containments in the stomach. One- third meant for food, one-third for air and one-third for liquids. If we cup our palms together, it gives us an idea of the quantity of food we need to consume. Prior to every meal, a glance at cupped palms might remind us to be mindful of what we consume. We have neglected this essential aspect of life. There are innumerable bonuses to be had by practicing conscious breathing or the ability to observe the breath, not necessarily control it. 1. Physically, we can be aware as to how our breathing pattern provides oxygen to our organs. To stimulate the body’s relaxation response, we need to focus on long, deep Ujjayi breaths. In this technique, practitioners should experience a sensation in the throat region. Ujjayi breaths help in elongating the breath, making it fine, smooth and also helps in the practice of yoga. Each yogic posture we undertake can be held for a longer duration to reap maximal benefit. In fact, we barely use thirty percent of our lung capacity. Through mindful breathing we can also expel ninety percent of toxins. There are several on-line classes being conducted by the faculty of the Art of Living under the tutelage of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar from which individuals can learn and appreciate the magical, therapeutic prowess of pranayama. We can undertake pain management through proper breathing exercises. If a certain part of body is aching, one can draw all the attention to that part and observe the breath. This coupled with Mudra Pranayama works as a tonic in mitigation of pain. “As a fire blazes brightly when the covering of ash over it is scattered by the wind, the divine fire within the body shines in all its majesty when the ashes of desire are scattered by the practice of pranayama,” wrote the polymath Yogic Guru Shri B.K.S Iyengar. 2. The human mind keeps oscillating between the past and the future, never remaining in the present. Willy-nilly this results in emotional upheaval in our system. The mind can be brought to the present moment through the unfailing practice of the rhythmic breathing technique of Sudarshan Kriya. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar says, “Mind is like the kite and the breath is like a string.” This string can be effectively used to calm the mind through mindful breathing. 3. We can practice meditation by beginning with Nadi Shodan pranayama. This relaxes the body, muscles and nerves and we seamlessly slip into meditation. Meditation is an act of de-concentration where we strive to embrace all thoughts, never resisting any thought or emotion. The reality in life is that whatever we resist actually persists. Meditation eventually leads to mental sharpness and clarity and increases levels of concentration. 4. Human minds are cannonaded by innumerable thoughts. This leads to a state of perennial mental chatter. For a moment let us draw our attention to animals chewing cud, the process of regurgitation. This is exactly how we humans keep feeding on our negative thoughts and fears, re-living them every moment. Through mindful breathing we can arrest this tendency and reduce the mental chatter, bringing our minds to the present moment. “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves,” said Buddha. Profound silence dawns on us through mindful breathing and over a period of time antipathetic thoughts and fears in the mind dissolve, as we learn to be in the present moment, connecting to our inner self; living in harmony with our environment and our existence. Spiritually, conscious breathing helps to remind us that energy is constantly moving. As Einstein famously said, “Nothing happens until something moves.” Well, since energy is always in motion (vibration), then change is a constant in our lives! This is a truth which cannot be ignored. Let us all practice mindful breathing from this very instant!

Stretching Into Infinity

1. Shirshasana — Sovereign among Asanas Shirshasana enhances the blood supply to the brain and pituitary gland, and in the process revitalizes the entire body and mind. Regular practice disgorges perturbation and other psychological intrusions which often become the bedrock of numerous disabilities. On the 21st of June, Summer Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere, for three years in a row now, millions across the globe have assembled in schools, parks, offices, educational and scientific institutions, various establishments. In unison they have performed Yoga. It is truly a momentous occasion where it seemed that all of humanity had gathered under one roof – the sky – and followed the universal protocol to perform different yogic techniques and to merge with the cosmic splendor through the powerful technique of meditation. The United Nations has not only endorsed observing International Yoga Day, but given a major thumbs-up to this ancient Indian practice and has taken up popularising it across the universe. Greece to Gujarat, Iceland to Istanbul, spanning all the seven continents, humans performed yoga. Achievement enough for Indians to well up with pride. A symphony synchronizing the body, mind and soul As a music lover, one fondly recalls the iconic lyrics of ‘Across the Universe’ by the Beatles. Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup They slither wildly as they slip away across the Universe Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my opened mind Possessing and caressing me Jai Guru Deva, Om Nothing’s going to change my world Nothing’s going to change my world Nothing’s going to change my world Nothing’s going to change my world Jai Guru Deva implies victory of the big mind. Om, when fragmented into three syllables – ‘AAA’ (the hubbub that emanates from the abdomen), ‘UUU’ (the reverberation emerging from the chest region) and ‘MMM’ (the resonance materialising from the head region) expatriates all Sisyphean and nugatory emotions and suffuses the mind with efficacious thoughts. Physical countenance of yoga Yoga is a kind of exercise in which a practitioner locomote the human body into several distinct and diverse positions in order to attain physical fitness and flexibility. While performing yogic exercises the sadhak has to invariably pay attention to the breath. It is always rewarding to take in deep Ujjayi (breath of victory) breaths while performing the asanas. To attain maximal benefits, the practitioner ought to inhale while moving upwards or backwards and exhale in locomotion downwards or stretching forward. Its metaphysical demeanor The root of the word Yoga lies in the Sanskrit word – Yuj – authentically meaning to conjoin. It is not merely a set of somatic exercises but a union with the Divine. While Lord Shiva is believed to be the original progenitor of this ancient science, Maharishi Patanjali revealed to humanity the intricacies of Yogic science through the much-vaunted Patanjali Yoga Sutras. An insight into Shirshasana The asana basically involves inverting the body, with hands, neck and shoulders bearing the entire weight of the body. The first step is the Vajrasana. Through a series of fluid steps to be executed in slow, measured pace, the practitioner moves from Vajrasana to the final pose where the legs are held straight up, toes pointing upwards and the arms cradling the head, with the elbows bent at right angles for further support. As a practitioner holds the pose, it works against the pressure of gravity, assisting in draining impure blood from the lower limbs and also enhancing blood flow to the head and neck regions. Moving out the asana has also to be done at the same measured pace in order to prevent injuries. This involves literally tracing all the steps backwards until one moves into Shishuasana. It is advisable to rest the body in Shavasana following this asana. Regular practitioners can remain in the position for as long as 30 minutes without any encumbrance, while beginners are advised to start with as little as 3 minutes. My astrophysicist cousin in Canada practices this yoga asana unflinchingly for 3 to 5 minutes. This is preeminent time which is vanilla for general health. Novitiates are advised to practice Shirshasana at the end of their yogic asana programme while advanced practitioners can perform it either at the beginning or the end of a Yogic session. As mentioned earlier a brief session of Shirshana should invariably follow a session of Shavasana. It may be mentioned that the asana is very brawny to awaken the Sahasrara chakra, which is responsible for the lofty position this sovereign among asanas enjoys. Shirshasana enhances the blood supply to the brain and pituitary gland, and in the process revitalises the entire body and mind. Regular practice disgorges perturbation and other psychological intrusions which often become the bedrock of numerous disabilities. The asana is therefore, recommended for the prevention of asthma, hay fever, diabetes and menopausal imbalance. It also assists to rectify several forms of nervous and glandular disorders, especially those related to the reproductive system. A note of caution Shirshasana is contra-indicated for those individuals suffering with high blood pressure, heart disease, thrombosis, arteriosclerosis, chronic catarrh (excessive build-up of mucus in the nose or throat), chronic constipation, kidney problems, impure blood, severe near-sightedness, weak eye blood vessels, conjunctivitis, and chronic glaucoma, inflammation of the ears, any form of haemorrhage in the head. It should neither be practiced during pregnancy nor during menstruation. While it is recommended as a preventative measure for headache or migraine, it should not be practiced while suffering from the ailment. It goes without saying that the tutee should learn the craft under the careful guidance and supervision of a trained Yoga instructor and practice for some time under the grace of a Guru.

. What is wrong with me that makes me so lonely in life?

other. What is wrong with me that makes me so lonely in life? So I used to feel like that like years ago. And I always felt like I was missing out on things and was like envious of other female relationships and then I learned that not all company is good company, so I started learning how to do things and be comfortable doing things by myself. I started going to the gym, fitness classes and stuff. I started going to eat places by myself not always sit down there, but going to just pick up food because I always felt it looked long if you were doing things like that by yourself. Explore your city. I started going on walks and hikes so nothing to remote or I would say it is dangerous for a woman to be by herself. Yeah, sometimes it’s good to learn whether you are actually lonely or if you’re forced and you don’t know how to actually be alone. I don’t know you so I don’t know the full context to your situation but I just know that I always thought I needed someone and I don’t. I could be in a relationship, but I want it to be right now. I don’t because I’ve been choosing to be alone because I have my sanity but I’m also not blocking a friend or potential significant other if it came along, but not forcing it because I choose not to be lonely. There’s apps as well as like Facebook groups that have meet ups for trivia at night. There’s hiking groups. There’s game night there’s roots for people with relatable hobbies, and these people meet up in person and sometimes awkward. That’s kind of. I guess how adults have to make friends. It’s kind of like some people that say they feel like they’re going to be alone forever, but they never put themselves out there, if you never go to places where you would meet a potential, you may never meet one, if you are at those places and you’re so shut off that you aren’t able to allow someone to come in and potentially make that connection, that can feel rough.(Sometimes not a choice maybe idk)

I'm 38. I've been married for 15 years and have3 kids. My husband is 50. First few years of marriage we were fine though he had exhibited some red flags which I ignored thinking that maybe it's one of those things couples go through with. My husband uses money without consulting with me. Sometimes he would lie to me that he didn't receive his salary he would hide his payslip from me. I would later find the payslip with his full salary. He would apologise and I would forgive him. He continued using finances anyhow but I kept thinking he would change. Last year he took loans up to a point were his salary was a minus. He never told me about the loans till I asked to see his message from the bank that's when I discovered that he had no salary at all,just a minus balance. We argued over the issue and I later found out he had not been paying fees for our kids. He asked for my forgiveness but I was hurt and I told him I wanted a divorce because I was tired of him being an irresponsible husband. Later on I decided to give him another chance. We sat down and came up with a plan to clear up all his debts but he messed up the plans again and said he was sorry. He went on to take another loan again behind my back. Just 4 days ago I discovered he even applied for another loan again behind my back. I'm just tired. We've sought counselling before but he just lies to the counsellor with a straight face. Would I be wrong if I divorce or separate from him for a while? 565.4K views View 4,851 upvotes View 144 shares

I'm 38. I've been married for 15 years and have3 kids. My husband is 50. First few years of marriage we were fine though he had exhibited some red flags which I ignored thinking that maybe it's one of those things couples go through with. My husband uses money without consulting with me. Sometimes he would lie to me that he didn't receive his salary he would hide his payslip from me. I would later find the payslip with his full salary. He would apologise and I would forgive him. He continued using finances anyhow but I kept thinking he would change. Last year he took loans up to a point were his salary was a minus. He never told me about the loans till I asked to see his message from the bank that's when I discovered that he had no salary at all,just a minus balance. We argued over the issue and I later found out he had not been paying fees for our kids. He asked for my forgiveness but I was hurt and I told him I wanted a divorce because I was tired of him being an irresponsible husband. Later on I decided to give him another chance. We sat down and came up with a plan to clear up all his debts but he messed up the plans again and said he was sorry. He went on to take another loan again behind my back. Just 4 days ago I discovered he even applied for another loan again behind my back. I'm just tired. We've sought counselling before but he just lies to the counsellor with a straight face. Would I be wrong if I divorce or separate from him for a while? 565.4K views View 4,851 upvotes View 144 shares. My husband is 50. First few years of marriage we were fine though he had exhibited some red flags which I ignored thinking that maybe it's one of those things couples go through with. My husband uses money without consulting with me. Sometimes he would lie to me that he didn't receive his salary he would hide his payslip from me. I would later find the payslip with his full salary. He would apologise and I would forgive him. He continued using finances anyhow but I kept thinking he would change. Last year he took loans up to a point were his salary was a minus. He never told me about the loans till I asked to see his message from the bank that's when I discovered that he had no salary at all,just a minus balance. We argued over the issue and I later found out he had not been paying fees for our kids. He asked for my forgiveness but I was hurt and I told him I wanted a divorce because I was tired of him being an irresponsible husband. Later on I decided to give him another chance. We sat down and came up with a plan to clear up all his debts but he messed up the plans again and said he was sorry. He went on to take another loan again behind my back. Just 4 days ago I discovered he even applied for another loan again behind my back. I'm just tired. We've sought counselling before but he just lies to the counsellor with a straight face. Would I be wrong if I divorce or separate from him for a while? 565.4K views View 4,851 upvotes View 144 shares

Can extramarital affairs last a lifetime?

Can extramarital affairs last a lifetime? I had an Aunt and Uncle that I adored. My aunt was stricken early in life with heart disease and emphysema. My uncle was her care giver for years. They truly loved one another and he was always very attentive. My uncle got throat cancer at 80 years old. He told me then that he had a girlfriend that he had been with for over 50 years and asked me to visit her with him. I did and understood their love for one another. He wanted me to meet her and stay in touch with her as he was in treatment and I did. He ended up passing away and left things with me to give to her. I know she was devastated. He wife, my aunt passed 4 months later. I am still in touch with his friend. As an older person I understood his need for a partner outside of the marriage. I would have had a problem with it when I was younger because I believe if faithfulness. As I have aged I realize connection is what life is all about. He was loved and loved two women.

Krishna

A warrior par excellence should guard his charioteer also from getting injured or killed. Here the charioteer in question was Narayan himself. Keeping aside the divinity factor,Krishna was the best charioteer anyone ever had. His agility,skills and intelligence could never let the opponent warrior overpower him at all. Drona vouched this fact on 14 th day to Duryodhan. The one who was driven by Krishna was Arjun,the best of the lot,who was ever alert,fast and smart..as per even his arch rival Karna..quoting his words here. Having said that every charioteer would get targeted by the rivals and Krishna was no exception. There was no rule that warriors should not strike charioteers as some people claimed in their posts. It was quite common to kill charioteers in war..Karna,Aswathama,Duryodhana and the Like got their charioteers killed in Kurukshetra battle. Krishna was struck by the above mentioned warriors Some of the occasions where they targeted Krishna.. Karna shot arrows at Krishna in his final battle with Arjuna on 17 th day At that time, Karna, glancing obliquely at Dhananjaya, pierced that foremost of persons, viz., Krishna, with ten shafts whetted on stone and equipped with peacock feathers. Then Dhananjaya, piercing Karna with a dozen well-shot and keen arrows equipped with heads like the boar's ear, sped a cloth-yard shaft endued with the energy of a snake of virulent poison and shot from his bow-string stretched to his ear. That foremost of shafts, well shot by Arjuna, penetrated through Karna's armour, and as if suspending his life breaths, drank his blood and entered the earth, its wings also having been drenched with gore. Endued with great activity, Vrisha, enraged at the stroke of the shaft, like a snake beaten with stick, shot many mighty shafts, like snakes of virulent poison vomiting venom. And he pierced Janardana with a dozen shafts and Arjuna with nine and ninety Bhishma also shot arrows and injured Krishna. Then, O sire, Bhishma with great strength pierced both Vasudeva and Dhananjaya with keen shafts all over their bodies. And mangled by those shafts of Bhishma, those two tigers among men looked like two roaring bulls with the scratches of horns on their bodies. And once again, excited with rage, Bhishma covered the two Krishnas on all sides with shafts in hundreds and thousands. And with those keen shafts of his, the enraged Bhishma caused him of Vrishni's race to shiver Drona also attacked Krishna … Like a mass of clouds pouring torrents of rain, the Drona cloud rained shower on the Partha-mountain. Possessed of great energy, Arjuna received that arrowy downpour, O king, by invoking the Brahma weapon, and cut off all those arrows by arrows of his own. Drona then afflicted Partha of white steeds with five and twenty arrows. And he struck Vasudeva with seventy arrows on the chest and arms. Partha then, of great intelligence, smiling the while resisted the preceptor in that battle who was incessantly shooting sharp arrows. Both Krishna and Arjuna deserve applause for safeguarding themselves against the onslaught of Maharathis Of Kuru army. Krishna was the target too. On 14 th day Srutayudha attacked Krishna with the mace given to him by Varuna with a warning that it should not be hurled on unarmed persons. Srutayudha disobeyed that injunction. With that hero-slaying mace he attacked Janardana, The valiant Krishna received that mace on one of his well-formed and stout shoulders. It failed to shake Sauri, like the wind failing to shake the Vindhya mountain. That mace, returning unto Srutayudha himself, struck that brave and wrathful king staying on his car, like an ill-accomplished act of sorcery injuring the performer himself, and slaying that hero fell down on the earth. Sanjaya admitted to Dhritarashtra that they always asked Karna to use Vasavi Sakti on Arjuna or Krishna Sanjaya said, 'Returning from battle every day, O monarch, all of us, O foremost one of Kuru's race, used to debate in the night and say unto Karna. Tomorrow morning, O Karna, this dart should be hurled at either Kesava or Arjuna.' When, however, the morning came, O king, through destiny, both Karna and the other warriors forgot that resolution. I think destiny to be supreme, since Karna, with that dart in his hands, did not slay in battle either Partha or Devaki's son, Krishna. Infact Arjuna used to get more enraged if the opponents struck Krishna..he would come down heavily on them in response Duryodhana, O king, pierced each of the Krishnas in that battle with nine shafts resembling snakes of virulent poison. And once more the Kuru king showered his shafts on Krishna and the son of Pandu. Beholding these showers of arrows (shot by their king), thy warriors were filled with joy. They beat their musical instrument and uttered leonine roar. Then Partha, excited with rage in that battle, licked the corners of his mouth. Casting his eyes on his enemy's body, he saw not any part that was not well-covered with that impenetrable armour. With some sharp-pointed shafts then, well-shot from his bow, and each of which resembled Death himself, Arjuna slew his antagonist's steeds and then his two Parshni charioteers. And soon also the valiant Partha cut off Duryodhana's bow and the leathern fence of his fingers. Then, Savyasachin commenced to cut off his enemy's car in fragments. And with a couple of keen arrows he made Duryodhana carless. And then Arjuna pierced both the palms of the Kuru king. Beholding that great bowman afflicted with the shafts of Dhananjaya and fallen into great distress, many warriors rushed to the spot, desirous of rescuing him.