Hi, I am a Hindu brahman girl

Hi, I am a Hindu brahman girl and since childhood been very religious and did a lot of puja path (might have helped somehow subconsciously) but last year I went to vippassana and since then I am unable to get back on it. And lately everything in my life is falling apart including my mental health but even then I am unable to get back on it? I think it's because I left god. What do you think? What do I do?