Insults

These insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. Insults then, had some class! 1. "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; Bring a friend, if you have one." George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill. "Cannot possibly attend first night, I will attend the second...If there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response. 2. A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows, or of some unspeakable disease." · "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress." 3. "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr 4. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow 5. "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway). 6."Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas 7. "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain 8. "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde 9. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop 10."He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright 11. "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb 12. "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson 13. "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating 14. "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand 15. "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker 16. "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain 17. "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West 18. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde 19. "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912) 20. "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder 21. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx. 22."He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchil