Dedicated to the connoisseurs of puns ….

 Dedicated to the connoisseurs of puns ….

How does an attorney sleep ?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other side …

I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work ….

How do you make 

holy water ?

You take some water 

& boil the hell out of it…

Will glass coffins 

be a success ?

Remains to be seen ….

Two windmills are 

standing in a wind farm.

One asks,

 “what’s your favorite kind of music ?”

The other says, 

“i'm a big metal fan” ….

Heard about the new 

restaurant called Karma ?

There’s no menu ,you get what you deserve ….

I went to buy some 

camouflage trousers 

yesterday, but couldn't find any …

What do you call a bee that can’t quite make up its mind ?

A maybe ….

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.

I lost my case ….

If and when everything is coming your way,  

you're in the wrong lane ….

She had a photographic 

memory, but never 

developed it ….

Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today ?

I don't know and 

don't really care ….

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then i changed my mind ….

Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing 

population ?

Ireland of course. 

it’s *Dublin* everyday ….

My ex-wife still misses me,

but her aim is starting to improve ….

The guy who invented the door knocker got a *No-bell* prize …

I saw an ad for burial 

plots, and i thought :

“that’s the last thing i need !”…. 

Need an ark ?

i noah guy….

I used to be indecisive; 

Now i'm not so sure …

Sleeping comes so 

naturally to me that 

i can do it with my eyes closed ….

What did the grape say when it got stepped on ?

Nothing. But, it let out a little whine ….

What do you call a very articulate dinosaur with a good vocabulary ?

A Thesaurus, of course  …

Being on time - 

"It's better to be late than be dead on time!" ….

Cheers