EGO-
AN IMPEDIMENT TO HAPPINESS
Narender (name changed) was born into an opulent
family and bestowed all the bounties by his indulgent parents. His father was a
civil servant, who served the government in various capacities and his mother
had the pedigree which the hoi-polloi, the flotsam and jetsam were envious of
and would always aspire to acquire.
Her parents and the luxuriant, deluxe family virtually
owned a quarter of the wealth of the state they hailed from. The petite woman was
trained to be a classical dancer and a singer of remarkable repute. She honed
these skill sets diligently. To sleep well in
life, she whetted her appetite and was to strop the aesthetic skills to an
optimal level. She grasped these nuances from the Maharani- her mother pretty
early in life and that provided her with a head start over her compatriots.
Narender, blessed with this extraction and bloodline
was naturally expected by the ménage to expand the family fortunes. While still
in the cradle, it was decreed that the child would be educated in estimable and
illustrious schools and colleges. The family was suffused with jollity and
animated exuberance. The world of the cock-a-hoop and airy family came crashing
when it was detected the child was suffering from dyslexia. ‘He is mentally
retarded,’ over-reacted the distraught father. The danseuse-songstress was
aghast.
It was as if lightning had struck the family and
happiness was swiftly supplanted by an eerie silence of disconsolance. Why were
they engulfed and subsumed by negative emotions and feelings?
Exalted expectations tend to diminish joy when humans
begin linking and conjoining happiness with events, situations and individuals.
Normally, the human mind is wont to postpone happiness and the propertied
family had advanced this state of mind.
Invariably, humans postpone happiness by not living in
the present moment, deferring happiness. For instance, a child arrives on
planet earth and it is widely expected that upon completion of educational
edification he would be ensconced in a reputable job, then get married and
procreate. The unabated cycle would be continued ………and perhaps in the winter
of his life the child, now a grandfather would finally attempt the pursuit of
happiness.
This indeed was the state of mind of Narender’s
parents and the Sakya king Suddhodhana. The Sakya king fervently and
passionately expected young prince Siddhartha to ascend the throne after him.
But Siddhartha was in search of expression of joy and the ultimate reality. He
cast the princely garments to adorn ochre robes. The father was dismayed and
rendered speechless.
Living in the present moment is the genuine expression
of joy and happiness and this is nothing but achieving enlightenment.
The mental state of ego can be closely examined at the
coattails of happiness. At a cursory
level the word ego means- amor propre,
self-conceit or self-importance.
However, psycho analysts view the subject radically
differently. For them ego is that part of a human which mediates between the
conscious and the unconscious and is verily responsible for a reality check and
sense of personal identity.
Philosophers delve deeper and try to fathom ego as a
conscious thinking subject. Therefore,
it is a multi- dimensional motif. Ego when cultured and harnessed effectively
can spur an individual to scale the summit, but to the bovine, obtuse and
imperceptive individual it acts a road block in pursuit of achieving stated
goals, as they operate from victim or guilt consciousness where the vision gets
blurred.
Ironically a timorous or a shy person who is
encompassed by negative emotions such as diffidence, timidity or wariness becomes
a prisoner and victim of the mind games.
But in reality, shyness is attributive of an
egotistical state. Why? As the individual is not natural; the creation of the
universe needs to be, inevitably, natural, guileless and unpretentious. As the
intrinsic quality of the geometry of creation is its pristine beauty. Truly
childlike is the infant who can perform, say Pavan Mukta asana, devour a
chocolate or render a speech with remarkable felicity and aplomb. Effort is an
act of the body while effortlessness is quality of a cultured and cultivated
mind.
Let us imagine sitting in the swathes of large fields
while observing the enchantress called the Universe; we examine azure blue sky,
wafting clouds, flock of birds moving in patterns in complete harmony. Or in
the darkness of night we are mesmerised with planets, stars dotting the majestic
skyscape.
Or say in a corn field, individuals can observe an
entire spectrum of field of flowers. We look at all the flowers from the prism
of our mind and soak seamlessly in the atmosphere.
These are effortless acts, where the mind does not
draw any comparisons. The ethereal beauty encompasses our minds. The mind does
not posit one cloud against the other, one rainbow against another, sunrise
from sunset, one flock of birds against the other, one set of stars against
another or one set of flowers against the other. The mind is merely observing
and appreciating various facets of nature in its aggregate and totality, with
mindful awareness and breathing.
Sage Ashtavakra, opined that witnessing these acts of
nature when the mind virtually halts and individuals do not juxtapose or
collate one against the other is that exalted state when humans drop all
cravings and desires and look at life in its entirety and inclusiveness. We are
one with nature and its manifestations. However, the bedrock of this state is
when humans are neither critical nor judgemental and do not attach strings to their
thought process.
There is a subterranean axis between happiness, ego
and a non- judgemental mind. Humans can reinforce the positive aspects of ego (self-esteem)
and appreciate jollity, radiance and happiness by dropping judgemental
positions.
